[inline:ankle] [inline:logo]Editor's Note: This is a guest article by the editors of LaxAllStars.com. A warning: the photos get very graphic, particularly the last one. If you're squeamish in any way -- yes, even the toughest bros get squeamish around blood and guts -- you have been warned. First of all, let's begin by agreeing that there are some injuries that hurt more than others. We're talking HURT. None of this, "Oh, I sprained my wrist, it hurt when it happened but then I got a splint to wrap it with" stuff. A broken wrist hurts, but it doesn't ache as the days go on. You get over it. Pop your 800mg of Advil and seize the day. When it comes to the severity of an injury some are so painstakingly difficult to get through you feel like your manliness is quickly deteriorating.
Take the Pole-Vault for example. Gnarly injuries may not happen all that often but when they do, it can be devastating. Especially in lacrosse. You have that perfect trail check lined up and you couldn't be more pumped. You wind up way back to bring down the hammer of the gods on some poor schlelp. But right as you are about to complete this epic de-twigging the chair gets pulled out from under you. He moves his stick and you're swinging at air. And, unfortunately for you, there is injury to this insult. Your missed check chops into the turf and your momentum continues forward. Then there it is -- the instant where you say to yourself, "Fuck, I didn't wear a cup today" and you quickly realize you may regret that decision more than any other in your life. Your new Warrior Evolution jabs into the ground at your feet and your momentum lifts you clean off the ground like a high-school pole vaulter, except rather then falling onto a cushy chunk of foam mat, you find yourself descending to the turf, the end of your stick finds your Bro-berries, and your Bro-berries have now swollen to Bro-melons. Sadly we don't have nor want a picture of the Pole-Vault aftermath, you'll just have to experience it for yourself someday. We do, however, have some other gross injuries to scope. Sissiest to most gruesome. It's like Jaws but without the ocean. Turf Burn: These things suck, but they go away. The worst is when you've got clothes on over them and the fabric rubs up against the swollen scab. It burns, but at least they heal quickly... Unless you get a wicked case of staph infection. When was the last time they cleaned the astro turf anyway? Peter from 412 Lax shows off a primo burn in our first photo. [inline:turf] Random Slash: Sometimes the aftermath of running through the forest is just a measly scrape. But every once in a while a d-pole throws the annihilator on you and it kills. Sometimes you're just being a puss. You better not complain about it in the locker room, but you probably ice it when you get home and have your girlfriend rub it. Example 1: My Revo scraped you. [inline:slash1] Example 2: Bicep bruises, weight room buzz kill. [inline:slash2] Hood Ornament: These don't always hurt too much, but they're the ones you gotta show off to the ladies. Don't worry, we said it, you didn't. The good old "hey baby, can I get a back rub?" line can be pretty useful whenever the outline of a spoon is tattooed on your shoulder blade. [inline:hood] Cascade Cut: This next photo comes from our buddy Tom out in Great Northern West. We gotta give him a shoutout because dealing with this one took some serious tolerance. The dude had a wound above his eye that didn't heal for over a year. Getting your bell rung in a half-buckled up C-pro can cause that, though. This brow cut happens to the best of us, but sometimes it never disappears. And it's always nice and bloody. 2005, Day 1: Concussed and gushing. [inline:cc1] 2005, Day 35: Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, get more stitches and a trip to the hospital. [inline:cc2] 2006, Day 365: Exact same day, one year later. Utah vs. ASU, same thing happens. Bring on the staple gun. [inline:cc3] Redshirt's Worst Nightmare: Pain heals, chicks dig scars, screws in your ankle make the metal detector go off every time. Sometimes getting your ankle's broken can be taken more literally than others. We're talking young Allen Iverson down the lane or Virginia's Shamel Bratton on a split dodge. Our buddy Ogle knows how these go. Tear up your leg on a bad cut and it's crutch-city from the sideline for at least 6 months. Unless you have a redshirt year to burn on a 5th year of college "victory lap," you're screwed. Might as well bring down the hammer. Lucky our boy Ogle had a damn good surgeon: [inline:ankle] [inline:ankle2] And while the ankle or something similar (torn ACL, collar bone crack, spine damage) can leave you graduated and begging for more cortisone, they may not be the most honorable injuries on the block. No, there are others that can make every waking moment of your life -- and love life -- even worse. Remember that saying "a picture's worth a thousand words?" Grab the nearest trash can. WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING WARNING Hernia Gone Wrong: [inline:hernia] Jumbo Jack over here at LaxAllStars.com experienced this wormburner of a wound. By wormburner, we mean the doc had to shuffle around inside of him with a wire to make sure he got all the bad stuff out. Like an exorcism for your lower abdomen. It doesn't matter how many times you hit the morphine button at this point. No matter what you do it still feels like someone slugged you in the gut, clinched your intestines, and never let go. But hey, these injuries happen to the best of us. It's just part of the game. Got a battle wound you want us to share? A story worse than our hernia gone wrong? Send pictures and the story behind your own lacrosse atrocity to firstname.lastname@example.org.