Editors Note: Since it's Back to School week here at BroBible, we are reissuing some classic posts about college that many of you may have missed last year.
When I was in college I absolutely hated going to class, so the only good part about summer coming to an end was the arrival of fresh meat (and I don't mean the slop they serve in the mess hall). As a freshman I got my fair share of ass -- which also came along with a handful of "dear Jesus, I think I have AIDS" scares -- but it wasn't until my sophomore year that I realized how incredibly easy it was to bed a freshman girl. The first month of school, something that is now a reality for many of you, is the perfect time to storm freshman vag*nas as if they were the f*cking beaches of Normandy. If you are a sophomore or older, and you don't still live in the dorms or suck your thumb, you need to keep one thing in mind: girls gravitate to older men, especially in college. So utilize the tricks below and you'll get to have your tw*t and eat it too (if you so chose).
As always, any and all sex should be consensual, and not forced, whether physically or through alcohol or drugs. And make sure she's 18. Some freshmen aren't.
5. How to handle the girls with the long-distance relationship.
Hot girls in high school all have boyfriends -- don't ask me why, I'm not a sociologist, I just accept it as a fact of life -- and most of them foolishly still have them when they go to college. Don't let this deter you, though. She is going to miss her man and long for his touch, but she is in Florida and Timmy is 3,000 miles away in California. A true gentleman, such as yourself, would do the right thing and step in to be that shoulder for her to cry on, that ear for her to talk to, and that throbbing cock for her to straddle.
4. How to gauge her interest.
You've already lived a full year of college, so automatically you are way more interesting than she is. That alone will draw her in. Girls also like a sense of security, and since she is in an unfamiliar place, she is going to want a man who knows his way around -- the city and her vag*nal walls. The simple truth is that there is no easier way to a freshman girl's crotch than to show her a good f*cking time and take her to sick parties. Just be sure that she is not a virgin. If she still has her cherry intact, I suggest you take your cock elsewhere because f*cking her is going to take a little thing my father likes to call "work," and you don't want any part of that.
3. How to make sure the young lass doesn't cling to you.
If the girl is a freshman and you have a one-night stand with her, keeping her from clinging is easy. Just don't give her your number (accepting her as a friend on Facebook is debatable). By the second month of school, you'll both be afterthoughts in each others' minds. But if that perfect situation is unavoidable, sit her down -- on your lap, maybe -- and explain to her that she is just starting college, and jumping into a relationship so soon is a bad idea. She will heed your advice and then ride your cock like a Ferris wheel out of appreciation.
2. How to not burn bridges.
Be nice. Be sincere. Don't promise her the world if all you can give her is a crusty eye followed by the dumpster. I know that sounds totally contradictory to everything that I have ever said, but take it from a guy who has doused a few bridges with kerosene and then tossed a match on them right after I crossed; enemies of the female gender can ruin your love life. It's one thing to be considered an a**hole, it's another thing once people start actually believing you are.
1. How to not alienate the older chicks.
Depending on the circles you run in, this might not be as difficult as you think. Most of the broads I hung out with my freshman year knew what the deal was by the time we were upperclassmen. You having sex with a young freshman won't change their opinion of you. Hell, you probably already banged half of their sorority, so what's one more? If your circle of friends is full of loud mouths, be more discrete with how you go about your f*cking. The last thing you want is to one day really like a girl and have her not like you because you're touted as the campus man-hoe. Or that could be all you've ever wanted... What the hell do I know?