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An Open Letter to Max Seibald Re: the Trimming of His Flow (UPDATE: Seibald Responds!)

[inline:seibald]Dear Max, I don't know how to say this, but the flow community lost some volume over the weekend. I was giving a lecture on hair gel and centripetal force when I received a text message, alerting me that you, the 2009 Tewaaraton Award winner and Denver Outlaw standout, decided to "trim" your flow. I am unsure of how this came about: whether it's a bitter girlfriend or overreaching managing director, but I do know the blood is on my hands. I can't pin the scalping to any single cause, it seems brash and open-ended. Your Twitter posts offer few details, but you do downplay the significance of the cut, referring to it as a "trim." Your wording leads me to believe you're fully conscious of the potential consequences and backlash from fans and flow gods alike. The timing of the "trim" is counter-intuitive: a seasoned laxer of your level understands the benefits of flow come this time of year; anyone who hails from New York realizes that come winter, flow is dough, adding a layer of comfort to keep out the cold. I know you're currently training for Team USA, the house that flow built, so I'd be hard pressed to think you improved your odds with short locks.

I don't want fans to think I'm angry; I'm just confused. Your hair has become a staple of your success; Seibald with short hair would be like a thin Chris Farley. I'm certain the only people pleased with this weekend's outcome are your competitors. You were just a few MPH's short of Rabil's winning 111 ripper -- will this help your cause? No, absolutely not. With short-haired competition, Rabil could win that contest off-hand with a laser high-wall. Certainly, when you've enjoyed the kind of success you have achieved, you do what you want. I thought your mud flap looked great and judging by your judicious phrasing, so did you. I know long hair comes with its trials and tribulations -- it's not all babes and goals -- but the significance of flow can't be downplayed. Fortunately, there's enough up and comers taking Rogaine straight to the vein to facilitate some pressure, forcing you to re-flow your hair. You may put up the same numbers, maybe even improve upon your rookie campaign, but I'll tell you this: you won't look as fresh without the mop top. This "trim" is detrimental to the sport, it sends the wrong message to children, and it ruined Christmas. Max, what were you thinking? UPDATE! Max Seibald responds on Twitter: [inline:twit]

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