[inline:pot] In probably one of the craziest and ballsy exhibitions of utter disregard for drug laws, cops in Millville, N.J., found 3-foot marijuana plants growing in a pot (ha, get it?) hanging from a lamp post on High Street. In true stoner fashion, the growers decided to hang their weed on a public street in the city's business district, risking years of imprisonment for what is, admittedly, a pretty sweet joke. The police chief said that the likelihood of finding the responsible parties would be like winning the lottery. If by "winning the lottery" he means finding a consistent source of good pot, then "winning the lottery" it is. In the spirit of this rebellion, I give you the top 10 stupidest drug busts: 10. Michael Phelps rips bong, posts on internet This is probably one of the most publicized and therefore least uninteresting "drug busts" on this list, but it definitely deserves to be on it in terms of stupidity. Sure, the guy won a shit-ton of gold medals at the Olympics. But it seems he forgot that pot is still illegal. By all accounts, the University of South Carolina party he was at was incredible, and I understand he's not totally aware of what's going on but I think everyone can agree that doing bong hits and having it doc*mented isn't the greatest idea. Especially if your primary means of income is endorsements. Just a thought. 9. George Michael gets busted for possession of class C drugs in London Class C drugs in England include pot, painkillers, and tranquilizers. Not sure which ones George was on, but someone found him slumped over the wheel of his car just outside Hyde Park, so all we know is that they were working. My advice to any would-be drug user? If you can -- and I know this can be tough -- try to avoid doing your drugs in public outside of one of the largest parks in London. If you must do drugs outside of a large London park, don't be George Michael. I can't stress this enough. If you are George Michael, you will be caught.
8. Man leaves paraphernalia in plain sight during routine traffic stop This one gets high marks in the "easily prevented" category. Sometimes, part of the bust is just bad luck. But a man in Avoca, Penn., was evidently too lazy to prevent his arrest and likely multi-year prison term. He got pulled over for a traffic violation. No big deal, unless of course you leave all of your sweet drug accessories - "four bags of suspected cocaine, prescription medication and more than $700 in cash held together by a rubber band" -- out for the cop to see. What has to go through your head not to make it a priority to hide your coke-dealing gear from the police? The only thing I can think is that one of his idiot friends gave him terrible legal advice before this happened: "You know, Ted, a cop can only charge you for one violation at a time, and it has to be the one they stopped you for in the first place. Not a lot of people know that." 7. Couple calls cops to their house, the house that they use to store and sell drugs In Belleville, N.J., a couple reported a home invasion. Apparently, they didn't actually expect the cops to show up because when they did, they found 10 lbs. of pot and about $60,000 in cash in the home. There was also a 4-year-old and 4-month-old in the home at the time. The children were not charged. Bonus: the home invaders fled before cops arrived, rendering the original call useless. 6. Woman deposits meth into ATM That about says it all. The woman, from Bremerton, Washington, accidentally put her meth into an envelope and then placed it into the ATM deposit area. This is the meth-head equivalent of accidentally hitting "reply all." 5. Man brings pot into courthouse in England, asks security officers to hang on to it for him In Wigan, England, a man named Stephen West walked into a courthouse and, when he went through the security area, took out his pot and asked what he should do with it. To make matters worse, he actually signed a receipt when the guards told him that he couldn't take the pot inside, but could present the receipt to get it back when he got out. He was treating it like a f*cking coat check! Well done, Stephen. 4. Man pays for gas... with pot Another one where the headline pretty much sums it up. A dude in Frederick, Md., tried to pay for his gas with pot in lieu of cash. This, I can identify with. I'm sure it's even happened to you. You check your wallet, only to find that you have no cash. You'll be damned if you pay the $2.50 fee to get your money out of the ATM (you also probably don't want to risk dropping your meth into it). So what do you do? Sure, it's probably not a good idea to try to pay off the store clerk with one of the few things that could send you to jail, but your hands are tied. In a tragic twist of irony, this guy really was trying to do the right thing by not stealing the gas. 3. Woman tries to smuggle drugs in her fat rolls A 5-foot, 220-lb. woman in Pontiac, Mich., appeared in court for sentencing and evidently already knew she was going to jail. She also knew that she would like to enjoy her drugs while doing her time. Being a relatively bright woman, she knew that she couldn't give her drugs to the courthouse security officers to hold onto during her sentencing, so she devised a clever solution. She decided to hide a baggie of drugs in her cavernous fat rolls. What she didn't realize was that routine policy calls for a strip search of inmates. I shudder to think that a police officer actually peeled back her fat flaps to search for contraband. A true American hero. 2. Ricky Williams tests positive for pot use approximately 23,936 times Maybe no surprise here, but it seems to me that if you have a good job and one of the policies of that job is to get tested for drug use, don't use drugs. Ricky is high on this list (the puns keep coming) mostly because of his complete disregard for what he knows to be a serious problem in his career. I would bet that most 5-year-olds would register this concept right away and quit smoking up. Not Ricky Williams, though. Ricky's having a little bit more difficulty with it. 1. Man gets busted making drug deal in front of Dunkin Donuts Some cops in street clothes were coming out of a Dunkin' Donuts just in time to watch a man in Easton, Penn., take some cash and deliver a packet of heroin out of the window of his green Cadillac. How can any self-respecting drug dealer think they are flying under the radar at a donut shop? You'd have better luck in the police station parking lot. By the way, if you're going to deal drugs in front of cops, a green Caddy isn't the least conspicuous delivery vehicle. [photo via]