Life
by J. Camm on February 2, 2012

According to Boston.com:

The Sub Sea Research crew had spent months in 2008 futilely scouring a wide swath of ocean off Cape Cod in search of the SS Port Nicholson, a merchant ship that sank in 1942 while laden with platinum now believed to be worth $3 billion.

By the end of this month, the Maine company expects to begin harvesting the bountiful treasure, considered to be among the most valuable precious-metal finds ever from a shipwreck. Playing a key role in the effort: a remotely operated vehicle tethered to the Sea Hunter, a 214-foot salvage ship currently docked in East Boston.

The Port Nicholson, a British steamer, was sailing from Halifax, Nova Scotia, to New York when a German U-boat torpedoed it during World War II, despite a heavy military escort. Four people died, while 87 were rescued.

Since then, it has remained on the ocean floor about 30 miles off Provincetown. The cargo, then valued at about $53 million, was a lend-lease payment to the United States from the Soviet Union.

They've known about $3 billion worth of platinum sitting at the bottom of the ocean for 3 f*cking years! I'm as lazy as all homemade shit, but this kind of back-burner procrastination is unconscionable. If someone told me, “Hey, JC, I got a hot tip that 3 bill worth of platty is parked 30 miles from shore near Cape Cod and I know the exact location. All we need is an extraction team” I'd be swimming in a McDuck vault by now and getting blow jobs from Webra Walters.