Effective immediately, I am resigning from BroBible, buying a semi-automatic hand-canon, hiring a few ex-Seal Team 6 members, and taking a company capable of harvesting this delicious platinum hostage. If you're interested in partnering with me let me know because as I see it, the valuable ship sitting at the bottom of the ocean off the coast of Cape Cod is first come first serve and casualties are coming hard and fast. Serious inquires only.
According to Boston.com:
The Sub Sea Research crew had spent months in 2008 futilely scouring a wide swath of ocean off Cape Cod in search of the SS Port Nicholson, a merchant ship that sank in 1942 while laden with platinum now believed to be worth $3 billion.
By the end of this month, the Maine company expects to begin harvesting the bountiful treasure, considered to be among the most valuable precious-metal finds ever from a shipwreck. Playing a key role in the effort: a remotely operated vehicle tethered to the Sea Hunter, a 214-foot salvage ship currently docked in East Boston.
The Port Nicholson, a British steamer, was sailing from Halifax, Nova Scotia, to New York when a German U-boat torpedoed it during World War II, despite a heavy military escort. Four people died, while 87 were rescued.
Since then, it has remained on the ocean floor about 30 miles off Provincetown. The cargo, then valued at about $53 million, was a lend-lease payment to the United States from the Soviet Union.
They've known about $3 billion worth of platinum sitting at the bottom of the ocean for 3 f*cking years! I'm as lazy as all homemade shit, but this kind of back-burner procrastination is unconscionable. If someone told me, "Hey, JC, I got a hot tip that 3 bill worth of platty is parked 30 miles from shore near Cape Cod and I know the exact location. All we need is an extraction team" I'd be swimming in a McDuck vault by now and getting blow jobs from Webra Walters.