You Won’t Make It 20 Seconds Into This Un-Autotuned Britney Spears’ Song Without Barfing

LOLOL.

LOLOL.

This is a leaked vocal track from Britney Spears’s new single, ‘Alien.’ It is before the vocals have been doctored in any fashion. Try not to throw up

Kill it with any sharp object you have in your possession. A pen if need be. It’s so bad in fact, that the song’s producer issued a statement about it claiming it was only a warm-up take.

Dearest Music Lovers,

I have heard that Britney vocal link that everybody’s been discussing. It has been impossible not to as there have been many comments directing my attention to it. [I won’t re-posting it here]. I’d like to affirm that ANY singer when first at the mic at the start of a long session can make a multitude of vocalisations in order to get warmed up.

Warming up is essential if you’re a pro, as it is with a runner doing stretches, and it takes a while to do properly. I’ve heard all manner of sounds emitted during warmups. The point is that it is not supposed to be shared with millions of listeners.

A generous singer will put something down the mic to help the engineer get their systems warmed up and at the right level, maybe whilst having a cup of herb tea and checking through lyrics before the session really kicks off. It’s not expected to be a ‘take’.

I think that 99% of you reading this will totally understand.

Whomever put this on the internet must have done so in a spirit of unkindness, but it can in no way detract from the fact that Britney is and always will be beyond Stellar! She is magnificent! And that’s that.

Sincerely, William

Hahaha cup of herb tea if you catch my drift. That’s what William Orbit is smoking if he thinks we’ll buy that excuse. But if it’s any consolation, Mr. Orbit, your finished version sucks just as much.

[Via Business Insider]