No shame in having a good time.
1. Your birthday parties are generally well-organized, highly-planned, often-themed shitshows which everyone in your social group braces themselves for for the few months leading up to the spectacle.
2. On more than one occasion, you have come within a hair’s breath of getting an extremely ill-advised tattoo, or actually gotten one (likely in a place that not many people get to see on a regular basis).
3. You are the first one to scoff audibly and forcefully when a bouncer informs your group that there is going to be a 10-dollar cover to get into some random sports bar on a Wednesday night.
4. Your friends generally assume that you’ll have a condom on you if they’re ever in need of one.
5. There is, and always will be, an extremely special place in your heart for Four Loko — even if it can no longer really be a part of your life.
6. When people start a night out with you, they often preface it with “I can’t really go crazy tonight, so we should probably work our way back towards my place,” even though they know they’re going to be out until four in the morning.
7. Your coworkers actually ask you to come to their parties in their real lives because they know you’re going to be fun/zesty, and not just hang awkwardly in the corner like most “work” friends that get integrated into the group.
8. You have an abundance of red Solo cups that you treat like fine china, only breaking them out for special raging sessions.
9. “Closing Time” by Semisonic makes you feel feels which you cannot quite identify, and which make you the person screaming off-key “I KNOW WHOOOOOO I WANT TO TAKE ME HOMEEE” while swaying back and forth.
10. You have a special kind of love for your bros and their ability to turn literally any event into an insane, almost-competitive party atmosphere.