Editor's Note: BroBible has teamed up with our friends at HBO to celebrate the Season 2 premiere of "Eastbound & Down," this coming Sunday, Sept. 26., at 10:30 p.m. Along with Kenny Powers' daily fortune cookies, we've also brought you a gallery of Kenny's new spicy love interest, played by Ana de la Reguera. If you don't tune in on Sunday, you're f*cking out.
During his prime, Kenny Powers was perhaps the ultimate fictional baseball badass. Key word: fictional. Although he may be washed up now, avid sports fans probably notice similarities between real-life, high-profile professional athletes and Powers' offensive, over-the-top character on "Eastbound & Down." Whether it's dabbling in nose candy, rocking a mullet, or working out in the backyard, here are 15 professional athletes who have experienced real-life Kenny Powers moments.
Grew a trashy mullet...
Over the years, baseball fans have feared the mullets of Jose Canseco, Doug Jones, Mike Piazza, John Kruk, Moose Haas, Pete Vuckovich, and Randy Johnson. Just like professional hockey, Major League Baseball has a rich heritage of players who rocked hairstyles that were all business in the front, party in the back. However, the late Rod Beck's legendary life story and mullet eerily wins the best comparison to those of the fictitious Kenny Powers. After undergoing reconstructive elbow surgery, "Shooter" attempted to kick-start a major league career by playing ball for the Iowa Cubs. The right-hander became a folk hero when he set up residence in an RV parked outside the Cubs stadium in Des Moines, inviting fans to pound beers with him after the game. Beck died in 2007; cocaine was found in his home at the time of death. He was buried in his Chicago Cubs uniform. Despite a cold shoulder from the Baseball Hall of Fame, Shooter's mulleted flow and Civil War-era mustache lives on forever.
The 1985 Pittsburgh Pirates, the 1986 New York Mets, and Ron Washington
Baseball and cocaine in the 1980s were almost as American as the Fourth of July and fireworks. In hindsight, it's entirely probable the drug habits of Major League players was money in the pocket to Pablo Escobar's Medellín cocaine cartel. Beside the 1985 Pittsburgh Pirates (who's narc mascot infamously blew the lid on baseball's so-called "coke scandal"), no one embodies a baseball club's freewheeling coke party like Darryl Stawberry, Doc Gooden, and the 1986 Mets. In Darryl Strawberry's autobiography, he called beer "the foundation of our alcoholic lifestyle," adding "we hauled around more Bud than the Clydesdales. The beer was just to get the party started and maybe take the edge off the speed and coke."
Honorable Mention: Texas Rangers manager Ron Washington, who tested positive for cocaine last year.
Blew all his money...
Rags-to-riches-to-rags stories are all too common in professional sports. It's becoming harder and harder to feel sympathetic for millionaire athletes who once had it all but opted to pissed it away with a lavish lifestyle, especially in the case of former Mets and Phillies center fielder Lenny Dykstra. After retiring, the legendary left-handed leadoff hitter decided to invest a portion of his $54 million fortune into a magazine called "The Players Club" catering to professional athletes. Ironically, subjects brainstormed for the magazine included how athletes should wisely invest their earnings. Dykstra's personal financial soap opera began when the operation folded, along with his own stock-investing firm. In July 2009, Dykstra filed for bankruptcy. Shortly after, he cited mortgage fraud after defaulting on a loan to purchase Wayne Gretzky's $17.5 million house in Southern California. He vacated another property in the area due to mold. According to the Wall Street Journal, he left the house in an "unshowable state" with "raw sewage escaping from the main drain line left undone" and the property "littered throughout with empty beer bottles, trash, dog feces and urine and other unmentionables." As of last summer, Dykstra was living out hotels and a car after selling off his World Series ring and peddling signed pictures on Craigslist.
Honorable Mention: Rollie Fingers, Mike Tyson, and Scottie Pippen
Lives with his family...
Most twenty-somethings with a $400,000 salary and a professional sports contract would be pimpin' hard with a party pad and a sick whip. However, 23-year-old Oakland A's pitcher Tyson Ross is living at home with his parents. According to a story by Fox Sports, he's living rent free and dining regularly on bacon, pepper, and onion omelets cooked by his mother. Too bad he didn't discuss his techniques for sneaking a lady friend back to his bedroom.
Taught high-school gym class...
Before "Sweet Lou" began his stint in the majors with his hometown Boston Red Sox in 1998, he found employment as a substitute gym teacher at Framingham High School in Framingham, Mass.