Have you ever seen the video whereby a man was giving some broad's backside beating from a handstand position, then, forgoing any and all notice, he Sunset Flipped her and without missing a beat he started eating her box like it was the last supper? It was both hilarious and brilliant because who would have thought that professional wrestling moves could be used to spice up a lethargic sex life?
Well, after seeing that video I knew what had to be done. And and after seeing bits and pieces of Hulk Hogan's sex tape I knew this list (that I wrote a while ago) had to be reissued if only to provide the world with a list of moves that were probably incorporated into the Hulkster's sex tape. In my research I found some moves that the ultra-kinky might want to use in sex, but I'm going to leave those out since most dudes don't yearn to be on the receiving end of the Testicular Claw. Below are 10 moves -- aerial, submission holds, and pin maneuvers -- that can feasibly be finessed into the next time you and Miss Rightnow are feeling acrobatic. Sure, you may need to modify it so it actually can be done, but feasible nonetheless.
On behalf of BroBible, I would like to say that we don't "officially" endorse any of these moves and should someone get injured, paralyzed, or break their penis trying to execute them, we will not be held liable. Also, forgive us for any photos that might look homo-erotic, I tried to find girl-on-girl pictures whenever possible but that was tough since, like most women's sports, no one cares about female wrestling.
10. The Boston Crab/Lion Tamer
This age-old finishing move also looks like it can double for a damn fine way to take an asshole to pleasure town. Just be sure she doesn't tap out before you do.
9. Abdominal Stretch
Great position to dominate a broad's ass cavity while giving her a obliques a nice stretch. Look at the joy plastered all over Cena's face. That could be you, ladies.
8. Tombstone Pile-driver
The standing 69 has been in adult entertainment for years, but unlike the pile-driver, it usually doesn't end with the woman getting a compressed spinal cord. So to keep your lover out of a wheelchair let's just say that we are suggesting the first half of this move. If you think that you possess superior upper body strength, give it a whirl.
7. Triangle Choke
"You will suck it and you will suck it now!" Love this move.
6. Elevated Double Chicken Wing
This takes asshole eating to new heights. Literally.
5. Stink Face
A sensational gimmick for any sick fucks who possess a BBW and smothering fetish combo. If that ain't your style, flip the script and let the chick dine on your sweaty ass lint instead.
Seamlessly go from receiving a standing blow job to briefly tongue-blazing muff to actual intercourse in just seconds. (We strongly advise against trying this on any surface other than a bed or a backyard trampoline.)
You can clearly see what needs to be done in this position so if you forgot to hit the gym today or your girl transcends what it means to be anorexic this brand of shenanigans isn't for you.
2. Camel Clutch
There is no better way to get balls deep into a chicks funhole than to tug on her face for leverage.
1. Sunset Flip
I really wish that we could post the inspirational video on here, but the powers that be won't allow me to post blatant adult entertainmentography. The picture of how the actual wrestling move finishes is above.
West Coast Pop
Rear Naked Choke