In order to make our The BroBible Top 5 Hottie Index, the celebrity, athlete, model, or other notable hottie in question needs to be relevant at this moment and tearing up the headlines. Just because you're hot isn't enough. You need to be in the news.
5. Rachel Uchitel
While most of the Tiger Woods fanfare has worn off at this point, Rachel Uchitel seems to be fully capitalizing on her five minutes of fame. She's come a long way (thanks to plastic surgery) since losing her husband in 9/11. Now we're the ones reaping the benefits as she’s decided to pose for Playboy.
4. Blake Lively
Bill Simmons and Seth Myers discussed Blake Lively's looks in a podcast on Thursday, which followed up on her spread in the June issue of Vogue. They refer to Lively as strikingly attractive because she's tall and really nice, all of which resonates in the Vogue spread. I could lie and say I'm behind her 100%, but I heard a rumor about her showing cottage cheese thighs at a July 4th pool party a couple years back. Like any bro, I have no desire to sample cottage cheese in my diet or with my woman, so it's a damn good thing Photoshop can clean up any blemishes before men enjoy the Vogue pictures.
3. Miranda Kerr
A nice pictorial in GQ usually brings any celebrity to the surface (remember how Jennifer Aniston's career was revitalized by her pairing with an American flag tie?), but Kerr does have a few red flags. Reading about her being into Buddhism, a diet of steamed vegetables, and dating guys made popular by MTV's "The City," a show which no true Bro has ever watched, will make you cringe. But all that bullshit is wiped away once you start looking at her in a bikini and you start to debate the better Australian import between Crocodile Dundee, shrimp on the barbie, and Kerr...
2. Adriana Lima
Lima doesn't get as much attention as she deserves and part of the reason is because she's doing these half-nekked photo shoots for Spanish Vogue instead of the American version. I'm not sure who the ad wizards were that didn't rope her into more campaigns in the States, but she's been doing plenty of things overseas, including being the Catherine Zeta-Jones of Italy in T-Mobile commercials. Maybe America gave up on her when they heard she was saving sex until marriage, which would turn off most guys. It didn't, however, turn off C-list NBA 4-player Marko Jaric, who married Lima last year. How the f*ck did he pull that one off?
1. Megan Fox
On Wednesday joePa brought to our attention the fact that Megan Fox is bat-shit crazy. Fox has a tendency to be quite candid in interviews and has let us know she forgets to flush, is inexperienced in the bedroom, and is a loner. I think she's full of shit with most of these comments. I know famous people are bound to fall into their share of publicity, but you don't do interviews like these if you want to avoid attention and hate the paparazzi. I don't, however, doubt that she's crazy, as it appears she staged a fit on the set of "Transformers 3" and was either fired or quit. Now joePa may be right that you don't want to marry a girl so crazy she might snip off your junk, but those are exactly the type of girls that are phenomenal for one-night stands. They're basically willing to try anything you want and might even surprise you with some moves. The fact that they're so good in bed makes you almost forget how crazy they are. It's those reasons and those reasons alone that help push this so called "inexperienced" hottie to the top of our list this week.
