As always, a disclaimer: In order to make the BroBible Top 5 Hottie Index, the celebrity, model, athlete, or other notable hottie in question needs to be relevant at this moment and tearing up the headlines. Just because you're hot isn't enough. You need to be in the news.
5. Ashley Greene
I didn't even realize Victoria's Secret unveiled an annual list of sexiest celebrities, but I'm obviously not one to knock lists or awards based on looks. Your standard names were included on the list and then I stumbled upon Ashley Greene. Apparently she stars in the "Twilight" movies, but I had no idea who she was because I don't own a vag*na, nor am I a guy ever neutered by his girlfriend to sit through those kinda movies. Now those guys who aren't as lucky have something they can at least (try to) hang their hat on. That sexy look definitely drew me in.
4. Danica McKellar
The lesser known of the two celebrity females named Danica, McKellar decided to pose in the pages of this month's Maxim. She was first welcomed to our world as young Winnie Cooper in "The Wonder Years," which admittedly wasn't my favorite and was a little before my TV prime. Regardless, there were a lot of people who had a crush on Winnie and then she fell off the map. Becoming a math nerd and surfacing in a couple CBS sitcoms ("How I Met Your Mother" and "The Big Bang Theory") hasn't exactly helped her return to prominence as they're the only mainstream appearances I've seen her in recently, but posing in Maxim definitely gets my attention.
3. Katy Perry
Maxim released their yearly "Hot 100" this week and Perry found her way to number 1, which is a little bit of a minor travesty. She's probably not the hottest girl in the world, but after patrolling a Google image search I've found a redeeming quality that can't be overlooked: b**bs. She's got a big set of natural-looking cans and they probably look spectacular. Plus she talks about kissing girls and liking it. How can you argue with that?
2. Hope Dworacyk
An easy choice for this week's list is the 2010 Playboy Playmate of the Year. The list of previous winners is a pretty healthy one that includes Victoria Silvstedt, Stacy Sanches, and Heather Kozar (who is unfortunately married to that loser Tim Couch). Dworacyk probably enjoys long walks on the beach and candlelight dinners, but we're frankly only concerned with the fact that she likes to take her clothes of. I'd think Mark Sanchez does too and that's my guess for which celebrity will be taking a run at her next.
1. Marisa Miller
In most weeks the Playboy Playmate of the Year would be the clear #1, but most weeks don't contain Marisa Miller (although maybe they should because she's so f*cking hot). Miller is my clear winner for best-looking celebrity and she has been for many years (though Megan Fox is a close second and could earn points by doing something other than banging Brian Austin Green and appearing in awful sequels like "Transformers 2"). Miller had a big week by being rightfully named the sexiest woman on the planet by FHM US and appearing in some hot Harley Davidson photos. Any list that has her on top is a great list.