We’ve all watched adult entertainment, right? And we’ve all probably seen a bukkake scene by the end of which there is so much dick batter on some broad’s face it gets tough to keep watching. Even people who absolutely love j*zz probably want to turn away… or so I would imagine. According to the ladies over at The Frisky — an online publication for all things vag*na related — women enjoy j*zz so much that they literally want to wear it all day, every day.
But we already knew that, didn’t we? I mean, why else would we intentionally pull out and then crawl up a girl’s torso just to blow our brackish wad on her face? Is it that we are a**holes who want to tell our friends all about our devious conquest? No, that can’t be why. I think it's because we instinctively know, or at least our inner-narcissist does, that since the beginning of time, women crave to wear our j*zz or anything that seeps from our manly pours for that matter. To them, it’s like a badge of honor, a necklace of hope, a liquid sash of love.
Thanks to the brainiacs at BleachBlack, women can now fill that void by wearing “Jizz” and even “Dickweed” nail polish all the time. Is this a step in the right direction for women? I’m not sure. On one hand I can’t seem to think of anything that screams class and sophistication more than c*m and the weeds of a man’s dick. But on the other hand, I’m not sure I want to hear my mother, sister, girlfriend, or wife ever say, “I just put this Dickweed on my nails, isn’t it gorgeous? Next week I think I’m going to lather them in Jizz because it really accentuates my tan.”
But hey, if you dames want to set your movement back a couple hundred years, then go right ahead. Wear j*zz and pubes all you want. Bathe yourself in them for all we care. It is a perfect way for us to know that you are likely willing to do the dirtiest shit imaginable and when that inevitable time comes for us to shimmy our way up your torso for that knockout blow, we can aim it whereever the f*ck we’d like.
On the flip side of that, we at BroBible are actually going to begin lobbying that the good people at BleachBlack come out with a new color called “Menstruation.” If such a stunning shade of amber with hints of brown came out, women the world over would be encouraged to wear "Menstruation" during that time of the month so that men will see and immediately know that talking to you in a bar or buying you drinks is even more pointless.
Truly a win for men everywhere. Thanks BleachBlack!