It is stupefying (classic Mike Tyson word) to think about how much has changed in relation to all things sex in the last 10 years. Just look at the news that came out last week about how half of you probably have HPV all over your cock. That is a remarkable statistic. You're a bunch of diseased f*cks. You sicken me. For a split-second I even thought, "Hey, is my dick all tricked out with HPV, too? I should maybe find out." So I did what any logical human being would do; I hit up WebMD, got confused by all the medical jargon, and then conducted my own personal field test. Now I don't know if this will exactly suffice as a "proper" medical examination, but as far as the only person that matters is concerned, scanning my prick in the men's bathroom for warts and other funky shit is as legit as it gets. Sure enough, my dick still looks as pristine as ever, so I'm probably all set.
As I was saying, all this news about HPV got me thinking about other things that have entered or left our sex lives in the last 10 years. After all, a lot can change in the course of a decade -- the size of your pen*s notwithstanding, as that remains painfully stagnant. Take a look below at what else has completely changed or become pleasantly modified in regards to sex in the last 10 years.
More than anything else, even Facebook, texting has changed the game in sexual interaction. Before texts, you had no vehicle to send the same "are you out tonight?" message to seven different chicks at 1 a.m. You certainly weren't going to call them all. You're in a bar, it's loud, and you want to weigh your options. Not shoot yourself in the foot by having all of them meet you out. With texting, you can pick and choose who you respond to. If Betty is hotter than Amy, and both respond, you ignore Amy's message and just tell her (the next day) you were so f*cking lit you didn't see her response till the morning. The dolt will believe you, brush it off as "you being you," and then fall for it again next weekend.
Not to be forgotten, sexting also brings us nekked pictures on demand. But if you are really concerned with getting those, for any other reason than showing your boys or future blackmail, you probably don't get laid all that often.
I know a few people who have used these solely to get f*cked. Makes sense, all the chicks on them are desperate -- don't let that "I'm too busy" routine fool you, they are desperate as shit -- so when they finally score a date they put out like crazy. Never to be called again, wondering how they possibly could have gone wrong. If you're in to not destroying a woman's spirit, you could go to Adult Friend Finder and Ashley Madison.
This might come as bad news to abortion purists but since the morning-after pill became over-the-counter, the old butane-torch-and-a-hanger method has officially become Plan C. Hopefully in a few years everyone will start using this more often (when they fear the worst has happened) so we can have less idiots roaming the earth and we can stop glorifying hillbilly trash for having a child at 15 years-old.