I have been on a ton of dates… maybe too many. The other day some asshole athlete I had been talking to on Twitter, which led to texting (go figure), actually had the audacity to ask me (after I turned his creepy Vegas weekend request down), “You go on dates”?! WTF! Of course I go on dates, like most 20-somethings. What a creep- but it made me think of all the fun dates I have been on and all the not so fun ones, too.
Here are some quick tips to reference when you are out on your next date BroBible gents! I know you guys probably know all of this stuff, but I swear so many guys have ACTUALLY asked me the below questions, and I want to save you the pain of doing it yourself.
What’s your religion? This seems so obvious, like dating 101 status- but I think it’s really nice to not inquire about this topic, as it is sensitive for some people, private for others, and more importantly will take your conversations into a serious direction that more than likely will create a strange mood.
What politically party are you saddled with? Ummm….. NO. Just avoid this one too, I understand there are exceptions to every rule, but seriously, I always get heated and end up going into lawyer mode; no one wants that much seriousness on a first date.
Tell me more about “YOUR JOB.” I understand that my particular job is very extreme, but I have plenty of hot, fun, unique girlfriends in a plethora of career fields, from medical practices to babysitters, and no one ever wants to ramble about their job. It’s just not the time or place on a first date. You are trying to put your best foot forward and shine bright, not potentially linger into a complex area that may trigger negative feelings, anxiety, passion, or other sorts of work related nonsense.
How old are you exactly? This is a real slippery slope. I set my girlfriend up on a date the other night with a guy I casually “hung out” with and needless to say, he literally ruined the date with that one question. She called me to tell me how rude he was; women are sensitive about their socially constructed “shelf lives.”
When was your last relationship? This is personally my worst just because my last relationship was a long time ago. Also, I think people can perceive that as a red flag for a new guy. No one wants to be so obviously embarrassed or even think of their ex on a first date, right?
Why did it end? As if I really need to explain why this is not the right time or place for this inquiry- but I swear I think it’s the most asked odd question in my experience. It’s like the man is trying to stop this from happening to him in the future; just leave it be boys; you will find out all these creepy little details on a date in the future, promise! Sometime you have to just take that risk of potentially dating a stalker, I guess.
Do you like sex? Obviously, most people enjoy it. Most women are not as open as me, but I still hate hearing this one. It’s so personal, too much pressure, and shows you as being interested in only one thing. You are on a date, so if you want to know this right off the bat, maybe you should just go clubbing and find a fun one-night stand.
Are your friends hot? Why do you care? Do you only date girls with hot friends, so your bros can hook up with them too? Superficial oddities like this one will leave me with a bad taste in my mouth!
How many kids do you want? Way too much pressure! I get that you want to leave your baby batter deep inside the ladies to produce some little trophies, but let’s just let that be a more developed conversation please!
Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Is this an interview, sir? How many partners have you had? OMG. NO! Just no. This is not relevant to me at the moment and should really not be discussed, especially not now. And by the way… why do you need to know?!Want to hear about girls I’ve fucked/dated recently? This is just a broad arena that you should avoid. I get the manipulation behind it, but leave that to the future for now; jealousy is not arousing, just annoying!
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