To keep track of which chicks are currently bringing the heat, we've decided to launch a new weekly column: The BroBible Top 5 Hottie Index. In order to make our index, the celebrity, athlete, or other notable hottie in question needs to be relevant at this moment and tearing up the headlines. So while Marisa Miller would be welcome to play around in my sheets on any given night, she takes a back seat to the women being shoved down our throats this week -- or currently newsworthy enough that you'd like to shove something down theirs. So here they are, the inaugural BroBible Top 5 Hottie Index: [inline:danica] 5. Danica Patrick SportsCenter needs some filler with football season over and ESPN is pushing Danica right into your living room. Patrick will be running in this weekends Nationwide race at Daytona, so expect the coverage of her NASCAR debut to be overblown. That's no problem for us, as the petite Patrick is the only hot box riding in a motor vehicle these days. While her GoDaddy commercials are constantly a tease, the shots from last year's Swimsuit issue were thankfully not.
[inline:heidi] 4. Heidi Klum Despite being 36 and popping three kids out of her babymaker, Heidi continues to dominate. A friend sat next to her at Sundance last month and reported back that she still held up extremely well. His opinion was affirmed with the collection of photos from DT Magazine that came out this week. Thankfully we'll be seeing a lot more of Heidi with Fashion Week ahead. It doesn't matter that she adopted Seal's last name because this b*tch still fills out a pair of suspenders better than most. [inline:vonn] 3. Lindsey Vonn In case you're living in a cave and haven't seen the numerous posts on BroBible, the Olympics start tonight and Vonn was supposed to be the Queen of the slopes. Word unfortunately came out this week, however, that she's dealing with a shin bruise and is unsure of her level of participation. My flight for Vancouver leaves tonight to give her the love and attention necessary to heal her wounds. I'm only doing what any American citizen would do to recreate the Sports Illustrated cover with me standing behind her. [inline:jessica] 2. Jessica Simpson If you were wondering why the Cowboys were able to win a playoff game this year, it turns out it actually was because Tony Romo was no longer dating Jessica Simpson. John Mayer let us in on the fact that the "chicken of the sea" fan he and Tony used to date is an absolute wildebeest in the sack. He even went as far as calling her "sexual napalm." You might need to excuse yourself from now on whenever you see her with a mic in her hand. My cock is stirring just thinking about it. If only she kept her major calorie intake to the bedroom, we wouldn't see the occasional whale-like photos from time to time... [inline:brookly] 1. Brooklyn Decker Her husband Andy Roddick hasn't won the big one in a while, but Brooklyn stepped up and took the title of cover girl for this year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. She's been banging on the door for a few years now (I wish she was banging on mine as we speak), so it's nice to see the cream rise to the top. Runners up: Megan Fox (Super Bowl ad), Anne Hathaway (GQ UK), Kendra Wilkson (Post-baby body and husband Hank Baskett's muffed on-side kick recovery), and Blake Lively (Super Bowl Bikini).