Aging is a sad consequence of being alive, but just because someone ages doesn’t mean they have to get “old.” Being old is a state of mind, as is being a Bro, and as long as you’re in a Bro state of mind you’ll never get old. These are the top 10 reasons a true Bro will never get old and will never, ever stop being a Bro.
He will never drive slow because a Bro has places to go.
He will always have playlists titled “Rage Mix” and “P*ssy Poppin’.”
He will stay on that Cialis diet because laying pipe is his No. 1 hobby.
He smokes weed on days that end in Y.
He may be older, but he can still bench 225 lbs 15 times.
His clothing will always remain fresh because b*tches love fresh.
His stories will have nothing to do with the Weather Channel, only his epic escapades of slaying mad p*ssy.
He will take his meds not because he has to, but because he enjoys the buzz.
He will never stop raging because…v*gina.
If he becomes senile it won’t be sad. It will just be another excuse for him not to remember the names of all the strange he’s gotten into.
Aristotle Georgeson is a Florida based comedian who loves Chipotle more than any human should. Follow him on twitter @sToTle