6. Your Internet Soulmates

Personally, I find this to be the most compelling of all--people you know in real life, but have developed a better relationship through the virtual realm--those whose statuses, observations, and general virtual activity and/or brand you’ve come to respect and truly admire. And because of the natural reciprocity that comes with validating others on the internet, these often grow into strange virtual bromances.

Somewhat hilariously, though, you’re not exactly sure will totally translate into real life--often these are people from your hometown you were somewhat friends with, but would never actually arrange to see. So when you do run into them on that night before Thanksgiving, it’ll be an interesting, but ultimately slightly awkward encounter. 

Key Storylines to Watch

• After seeing them in person, do you like their social media presence more or less?
• Will you resolve to develop any long-term business plans with this person?
• Do you get irrationally disappointed when you “feel like they could’ve done better” with that last update?
• Do you increasingly wish you were them?

7. Your Siblings

Maybe this is getting less and less prevalent, but that disconnect between the sibling in real-life and that in the virtual world is often somewhat distinct--particularly if you have a decent age gap, or if you don’t really hang out with the same people.

This of course, is sort of natural--if you really think about it, you reading your little brother's Facebook wall is kinda like actually sticking around after dropping him off at Friendlys.

Key Storylines to Watch

• If you bring their virtual activites into real life, will they be slightly embarrassed?
• Is there virtual self better or worse than their actual self?
• Would you like this person if they weren’t your sibling? 
• Would your sibling like you if you weren’t their sibling?

8. The Over-Promoter

An offshoot of the person with blog, the over-promoter is notorious for blatantly violating norms of the attention economy. Some over-promoters are tragically unaware of the long-term impacts their constant social media shouting will have on the strength of their #personalbrand, while others simply take advantage of the medium to call attention to their super-important agenda.

The over-promoter will almost always have a career-related end goal, so at times it’s tough to totally knock their hustle--on the outside looking in, it’s often just a necessary evil. Still though, undoubtedly a topic to discuss uproariously amongst your small group of friends while drinking demographically-applicable beers.

Key Storylines to Watch:

• Are you constantly impressed by the boundaries they push on a daily basis?
• Are you increasingly less surprised by the boundaries they push on a daily basis?

9. Your Favorite Brand Page

Whether it be a clothing company, a bar, or a television show, brands have this weird tendency to be either awesome on the internet, or flat-out terrible. A lot of this is the unfortunate result of people sitting in meetings between the years 2009-2011, being all like “social media! it’s a thing! maybe if I talk about this enough, I will get a raise!”

The effects of which, we are certainly feeling.

Key Storylines to Watch:

• Does your favorite multi-million corporation sometimes talk like a stoner college kid?
• Do you sort of wish the world was less transparent, so you didn’t actually have to face the brutal reality that is humans looking to make a profit trying too hard? 

10. The Internet Activist

A pundit in his own right, this is the dude may actually think that his three paragraph soliloquy about some “issue” will actually make a difference. The activist will make it his sole mission in life to constantly berate opposing viewpoints, in the attempt to make them look like (a. idiots, and (b. terrible people who also like to burn small children. They’ll also have a tendency to cite strange websites that no one has ever heard of, but somehow appear to have a pretty considerable following.

Key Storylines to Watch:

• Will they develop a “Gary” to their Ash Ketchum, who envetually gains a considerable comment section following of his own?
• Is he/she actually very quiet and reserved in real life?
• Do you both dance around the goings-on of this person's ridiculous and virtually unavoidable onilne presence when interacting in real life?

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