While hundreds of thousands of students are in the glorious throes of their freshman year at college, hundreds of thousands of post-grads are realizing that life outside the Ivory Tower isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Like Adam, Anders, and Blake on the hilarious Comedy Central show "Workaholics" (premiering tonight at 10:30 p.m. after an all-new "Tosh.0"), they're quickly realizing that having fun at the workplace — and adapting to grown-up life — comes with a bit of a learning curve. Here are the 10 biggest misconceptions about post-college life.
1. Jobs Are Easy to Come By
Yeah, not so much. With national unemployment at 9.1%, only the very lucky are graduating college with a job in hand. Seventeen years of school was supposed to line you up for a sweet gig, but that went out the window somewhere between the collapse of Lehman Brothers and the day you decided to major in Sanskrit.
2. Jobs are Actually 9 to 5
Congrats, you landed a job. Now don't think you're only going to be putting in 40-hour weeks. If your boss tells you you should be at your desk by 9, he really means 7:30. And if it's 11 p.m. and no one on your floor has made a move to the exit, keep your ass in that seat.
3. You're Going to be Running the Show From Day One
Greed might be good but you've got about 30 years before you're taking Gordon Gekko's corner office. Get used to running copies, fetching coffee, and doing mind-numbing research. One day you'll be management material. Today is not that day.
4. Your Salary is Respectable and Livable
Easy there, Tea Partier: taxes haven't abolished just yet. Whatever you were expecting your paycheck to be, lop off about 30 percent of it for Uncle Sam and your aging, Social Security–eligible parents. That's right, your government and your parents are stealing your money.
5. You'll Be Hitting Up Happy Hour Every Night of the Week
You mean I can start drinking at 5 p.m. on a Tuesday and not look like a total degenerate? First of all, you're not leaving work at 5 (see #2). Second, you're exhausted at the end of a long day at work, and all you want is your couch or, if you're feeling ambitious, a trip to the gym. Maybe you'll rally and head out later, but the only drink special you'll be looking forward to each week is when the Tropicana OJ is on sale for $2.99.