This was supposed to be the year the world ended. Tim Tebow did everything in his power to make that bold prediction seem reasonable. Never has a backup quarterback garnered this much attention and let’s hope it never happens again.
As a staunch defender of Mr. Tebow, it pains me to admit that he’s had an absolutely enraging year. Here are some of the lowlights that aided him in earning the not-so-sough-after mantle of Most Annoying Person of 2012.
The Inexplicable Playoff Game-Winning Pass to Demaryius Thomas
After somehow guiding the Denver Broncos to the postseason, the limp-wristed lefty connected on an 80-yard touchdown toss on the first play of overtime against the Pittsburgh Steelers. Immediately, everyone took to Twitter to share an irritating positive or negative comment. Seriously, you couldn’t sign on for 36 hours afterward without being bombarded with bad puns or unreasonable hate.
The More Reasonable Turd Against New England Ends Season
Timmy went 9-for-26 in a 45-10 undressing. That was more like it. But he caused people to root for the Patriots, which is just terrible. Even more troubling was the fact that he stole all of the post-game coverage. WHY COULDN’T YOU LET HIM DIE IN PEACE, MEDIA?
If he had been able to pull the upset in Foxboro, we wouldn’t have had to endure what came next.
The Where-Will-He-Go Drama
The Broncos, in their infinite wisdom, understood that Timothy was not a viable starting quarterback, opening the door for other franchises to begin the flirting. For all of the excruciating debate about his next landing spot, there were a grand total of two teams interested: Jacksonville and the New York Jets. So much ado about nothing.
The Fact Tebowing Was a Thing
Stupidest trend ever. And that includes planking.
The Time He Was Excited
Remember the time he was excited to be joining the Jets? Of course you do. He only said it 2,392 times.
The Boring-Ass Cliché-Filled Interviews
Tebow has never, ever said anything interesting. He’s always said the “right” thing. Can you imagine how rewarding it would be if he actually spoke his mind? The world might spin off its axis.
Deep down, we’re all hoping he’ll turn heel, renounce God and become the next Dennis Rodman. Maybe in 2013. MAYBE.
The Complete Lack of Relevance
What, exactly, has Tim accomplished this year? He’s 6-for-8 throwing the ball for a grand total of 39 yards. He’s rushed 32 times for 102 yards. That’s it. Oh, shit, he’s also been a hell of a punt protector.
The Quitting on His Team
Tebow reportedly asked to be taken out of the wildcat package after coach Rex Ryan passed over him in favor of Greg McElroy. What a teammate, huh? In doing so, he took a giant dump all over his carefully crafted image and exposed himself for what he really is: A self-involved GLORY BOY more concerned with celebrity than football.