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7 of the worst things about couples

By / 02.13.14
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worst-things-about-couples

<a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-175792082/stock-photo-valentine-couple-portrait-of-smiling-beauty-girl-and-her-handsome-boyfriend-making-shape-of-heart.html" target="_blank">Couple image</a> by Shutterstock


I'm part of a couple and you might be too. Maybe you're even part of the couple I'm a part of (and if you're reading this I'm sorry, baby.) But it's got to be said; though love is a wonderful thing, couples often aren't. Here are the worst things about couples.

connected-couple

<a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-1921434/stock-photo-connected-soulmates-heart-shape-of-love-over-a-white-background.html" target="_blank">Connected couple image</a> by Shutterstock


You can order separate plates of food, have your own social lives and watch different television and movies - I promise. Stop stoking the fires of individuality with your comfortable, static existence as being the "other half" of another person.

bickering

<a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-89672464/stock-photo-young-couple-quarreling-at-home.html" target="_blank">Bickering couple image</a> by Shutterstock


You're way too comfortable with making everyone else uncomfortable. And you wonder why we never invite you out to places other than chain restaurants anymore.

couple

<a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-176212196/stock-photo-portrait-of-beautiful-young-couple-in-love-in-cafe-concept-of-relationship-love-story.html" target="_blank">Couple image</a> by Shutterstock


The worst of this is couples who sit on the same side of the table together. Disconnect your bodies for one meal, I promise it will be okay. You shouldn't need to sit together everywhere. Okay, except for on an airplane...I guess you get a free pass for that.

pda

<a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-175259516/stock-photo-happy-cheerful-couple-kiss-studio-shoot.html" target="_blank">Kissing couple image</a> by Shutterstock


You intrigue me. I mean, you disgust me. Save that shiz for never.

laughing-couple

<a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-175573223/stock-photo-smiling-young-couple-having-fun-in-summer-on-the-beach.html" target="_blank">Laughing couple image</a> by Shutterstock


No, I do not understand what it means when you excitedly say, "Szechuan hot pot!" and then high five, or grimly report that, "It's leprechaun time," and then beer batter yourselves.

happy-couple

<a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-176269742/stock-photo-young-couple-in-love-make-a-heart-and-hands-are-holding-a-bouquet-of-tulips-the-concept-of.html" target="_blank">Happy couple image</a> by Shutterstock


Uch. Stop looking at each other with those giant love-eyes. You're making everyone around you a) sick, b) subconsciously horny or, worst of all, c) jealous of what you have.

couple-fighting

<a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-175302746/stock-photo-woman-nagging-and-overwhelming-her-boyfriend.html" target="_blank">Couple fighting image</a> by Shutterstock


Most couples get together because they're infatuated and think they're in love when it's really just their hormones playing Plinko with their emotions. Guys, don't jump head-long into a relationship with just any hot chick with that fucked up look in her eye.

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