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7 of the worst things about couples

By / 02.13.14
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<a href="" target="_blank">Couple image</a> by Shutterstock

I'm part of a couple and you might be too. Maybe you're even part of the couple I'm a part of (and if you're reading this I'm sorry, baby.) But it's got to be said; though love is a wonderful thing, couples often aren't. Here are the worst things about couples.


<a href="" target="_blank">Connected couple image</a> by Shutterstock

You can order separate plates of food, have your own social lives and watch different television and movies - I promise. Stop stoking the fires of individuality with your comfortable, static existence as being the "other half" of another person.


<a href="" target="_blank">Bickering couple image</a> by Shutterstock

You're way too comfortable with making everyone else uncomfortable. And you wonder why we never invite you out to places other than chain restaurants anymore.


<a href="" target="_blank">Couple image</a> by Shutterstock

The worst of this is couples who sit on the same side of the table together. Disconnect your bodies for one meal, I promise it will be okay. You shouldn't need to sit together everywhere. Okay, except for on an airplane...I guess you get a free pass for that.


<a href="" target="_blank">Kissing couple image</a> by Shutterstock

You intrigue me. I mean, you disgust me. Save that shiz for never.


<a href="" target="_blank">Laughing couple image</a> by Shutterstock

No, I do not understand what it means when you excitedly say, "Szechuan hot pot!" and then high five, or grimly report that, "It's leprechaun time," and then beer batter yourselves.


<a href="" target="_blank">Happy couple image</a> by Shutterstock

Uch. Stop looking at each other with those giant love-eyes. You're making everyone around you a) sick, b) subconsciously horny or, worst of all, c) jealous of what you have.


<a href="" target="_blank">Couple fighting image</a> by Shutterstock

Most couples get together because they're infatuated and think they're in love when it's really just their hormones playing Plinko with their emotions. Guys, don't jump head-long into a relationship with just any hot chick with that fucked up look in her eye.

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TAGSannoying couplesannoying peopleArbitrary RankingsDatingfeaturedListsValentine's Day
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