Have you ever had a friend that quoted movies so frequently it was like that was the only way they knew how to communicate? Well, there’s a time and place for that and the bedroom, post-coitous is certainly not that place. Here are some movie quotes you should never say after sex.
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10 “Show Me The Money!”
From: Jerry Maguire
Outcome: The hooker you just slept with is confused because it’s actually you who owes her the money.
9 “That’ll do pig, that’ll do.”
Outcome: You are given a black eye, and it’s more deserved than any violence that has ever been bestowed upon you in your entire life.
8 “The Force will be with you, always.”
From: Come on, do I really have to tell you?
Outcome: You never see her again because you’re so painfully nerdy that you actually had to make a Star Wars reference and yet, couldn’t find a way to make it into a lightsaber/penis euphemism.
7 “I’m king of the world!”
Outcome: She realizes with horror that you just lost your virginity and promptly exits, never to return.
6 “The horror. The horror…”
From: Apocalypse Now
Outcome: Even the most confident woman won’t let this one slide. The next time she touches your junk, it will be with malicious intent.
5 “Every man dies, not every man really lives.”
Outcome: If you whisper it under your breath into her ear she’ll run screaming naked out the door. But if you’re standing with your hands on your hips wearing only a loin cloth, she might actually think you’re pretty funny.
4 “Come with me if you want to live.”
From: T1, T2, T3
Outcome: Uh, if you want to come together, threatening her is not the way to achieve that.
3 “Hail to the king, baby!”
From: Army of Darkness
Outcome: She’s feeling disbelief and disgust because she can’t fathom how someone could be that full of themselves…and still be so sexy. Hail to the king, baby!
2 “The Eagle has landed.”
From: The Eagle Has Landed (and of course, the moon landing in ’69)
Outcome: She wonders if you’re equating yourself to the moon landing and if so, disagrees because the moon landing gave her a much stronger orgasm.
1 “I’ll have what she’s having.”
From: When Harry Met Sally
Outcome: She’s very is concerned, since what she just had was you.
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