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10 worst movie quotes to say after sex

By / 11.06.12
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Have you ever had a friend that quoted movies so frequently it was like that was the only way they knew how to communicate? Well, there's a time and place for that and the bedroom, post-coitous is certainly not that place. Here are some movie quotes you should never say after sex.

Photo credit: YouTube/Universal Pictures

From: Jerry Maguire

Outcome: The hooker you just slept with is confused because it's actually you who owes her the money.

From: Babe

Outcome: You are given a black eye, and it's more deserved than any violence that has ever been bestowed upon you in your entire life.

From: Come on, do I really have to tell you?

Outcome: You never see her again because you're so painfully nerdy that you actually had to make a Star Wars reference and yet, couldn't find a way to make it into a lightsaber/penis euphemism.

From: Titanic

Outcome: She realizes with horror that you just lost your virginity and promptly exits, never to return.

From: Apocalypse Now

Outcome: Even the most confident woman won’t let this one slide. The next time she touches your junk, it will be with malicious intent.

From: Braveheart

Outcome: If you whisper it under your breath into her ear she’ll run screaming naked out the door. But if you're standing with your hands on your hips wearing only a loin cloth, she might actually think you're pretty funny.

From: T1, T2, T3

Outcome: Uh, if you want to come together, threatening her is not the way to achieve that.

From: Army of Darkness

Outcome: She's feeling disbelief and disgust because she can't fathom how someone could be that full of themselves...and still be so sexy. Hail to the king, baby!

From: The Eagle Has Landed (and of course, the moon landing in '69)

Outcome: She wonders if you're equating yourself to the moon landing and if so, disagrees because the moon landing gave her a much stronger orgasm.

From: When Harry Met Sally

Outcome: She's very is concerned, since what she just had was you.

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Jason Epstein
About Jason Epstein... Jason Epstein is a nationally published freelance writer living in the greater NYC area. He's known for his close friends/good conversations/playing bass/wind in the face/rocking out/reading up/holding it down/good times/turning on dimes/and sometimes trying to rhyme(s). He can be reached at his website and you can follow him on Twitter here.
TAGSApocalypse NowArbitrary RankingsArmy of DarknessbabeBraveheartclassic movie quotesfeaturedJerry MaguireListsMovie quotesSexsex advicesex tipsStar WarsTerminatorThe Eagle Has LandedTitanicwhat not to say after sexwhat to say after sexWhen Harry Met Sally

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