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Wildlife officials jealous of pelican’s swag

By 03.05.13

Wildlife officials in Florida were called to investigate a pelican and a gull that were discovered wearing beer cans around their necks. In a horrific act of outright jealousy, a man cut the jewelry from the birds’ necks.

Florida Keys Wildlife Rescue

Florida Keys Wildlife Rescue

The Florida Keys Wildlife Rescue has overstepped their bounds. They suggest that a person must have removed the ends of the cans and then shoved the birds’ heads through them to create the collar, but can they prove that? It seems unlikely that someone would go to such trouble, especially in the state of Florida which is well respected for it’s low number of idiotic crimes.

The more likely scenario is that the birds were trying to be fly. I’ve seen quite a few pelicans in Chicago watching Planet Earth while perched outside of Best Buy, so they know that ostentatious showmanship is the easiest way to secure a mate. Way to go nature-haters. Without their jewelry, these poor birds will have to return to shaking their tailfeather just to be noticed by mediocre suitors.

Pelican and gull found in Keys with beer cans around their necks [MiamiHerald]

Colin Joliat
About Colin Joliat... Colin Joliat is the 2nd best person to ever come from Flint, Michigan, behind only Andre "Bad Moon" Rison. He covers the food & alcohol industries with two parts information, one part comedy, and one part WTF is wrong with this guy. He's currently pretending people care about his new drunken venture, Boozist.
TAGSbeer can collarsbirds with beer cans around neckCrimedangers of beer can to birdFloridapelicans

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