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9 types of couples you’ll see on Valentine’s Day

By / 02.14.13
Couples You See on Valentines Day

Ms. Phoenix, <a href="" target="_blank">Flickr</a>

We all know that Valentine’s Day is a manufactured holiday that gets people to spend money and time in a pretty inorganic manner, but everyone reacts differently to it. Some find it romantic and thrilling; others find it irritating and trite. But one thing’s for sure, there are always going to be couples who have their own V-Day personalities and traditions. Do you know any of these?

Photo credit: Ms. Phoenix, Flickr

9 The Happy Couple That Makes Everyone Sick


edwardgazel, <a href="" target="_blank">Flickr</a>

These lovey-dovey, goofy, romantic bastards are locking lips, sucking tongue, slamming cheek, cleaning teeth, touching gums, tongue-brushing molars and mouth-blasting each other into oblivion.

Where you’ll see them:
EVERYWHERE, even when you close your eyes.

Photo credit: edwardgazel, Flickr

8 The Dude With the Arm Candy

Arm Candy

BarbieFantasies, <a href="" target="_blank">Flickr</a>

You see them and wonder exactly how this short, fat, bald dude has such a Hollywood-hot girlfriend on his arm. Then you see the fat gold chain and you know exactly how it all went down.

Where you’ll see them:
Living large at a posh steakhouse.

Photo credit: BarbieFantasies, Flickr

7 The Couple That Has Nothing in Common

Nothing in Common

scragz, <a href="" target="_blank">Flickr</a>

Valentine’s Day is the perfect time of year for this couple to realize that their initial attraction had nothing to do with actual compatibility. Watch as they both struggle to talk about anything else than what their week was like.

Where you’ll see them:
Awkwardly avoiding eye contact at a wine bar.

Photo credit: scragz, Flickr

6 The Couple That Hates Valentine’s Day

Hate V-Day

Thor Thorsson 1, <a href="" target="_blank">Flickr</a>

These alternative folks dislike Valentine’s Day so much that they refuse to acknowledge the rest of the world during it. At least they’ll be having a lot of hate-sex.

Where you’ll see them:
At their apartment, kind of craving a meal from the place down the block, but not wanting to go out because other couples on Valentine’s Day “disgust” them.

Photo credit: Thor Thorsson 1, Flickr

5 The Girl With the Guy Who Doesn’t Understand How Valentine’s Day Works

Doesnt Get It

adreson, <a href="" target="_blank">Flickr</a>

When her boyfriend shows up with edible beef jerky underwear “for her” and a handful of “fun size” Milky Ways in lieu of more holiday-appropriate chocolates, he gets slapped for being such a tool.

Where you’ll see them:
Arguing in a Denny’s parking lot.

Photo credit: adreson, Flickr

4 The Big Spenders

Big Spenders

vxla, <a href="" target="_blank">Flickr</a>

These are V-Day’ers that take the holiday super seriously. It’s Christmas part two: time to bust out the credits cards and go just a little further into sweet, sweet debt! They’ll have no problem showing how much they care for each other with both paper and plastic.

Where you’ll see them:
Shelling out $300 for a 7-course snooze-fest at their local pretentious eating establishment.

Photo credit: vxla, Flickr

3 The Ones Who are Fighting BECAUSE It’s Valentine’s Day


Dan4th, <a href="" target="_blank">Flickr</a>

These poor bastards are frustrated because they should feel more in love today, but totally don’t. So they nitpick at each other for no reason until a fight breaks out, and that’s where the fun begins.

Where you’ll see them:
At the movies seeing something neither of them want to see.

Photo credit: Dan4th, Flickr

2 The One That Puts All Their Differences Aside for the Special Day


Greg Walters, <a href="" target="_blank">Flickr</a>

This couple holds Valentine’s day so dear that they literally forget about everything else (even their children) so they can enjoy a day of oblivious romantic bliss.

Where you’ll see them:
Cooking dinner at home au natural.

Photo credit: Greg Walters, Flickr

1 The Couple That Doesn’t Buy It

Doesnt Buy It

Stemack Street, <a href="" target="_blank">Flickr</a>

These guys know that caring for someone else can be done every day of the year without some grand gesture other couples use to make up for the other 99% of bullshit they make each other put up throughout the year.

Where you’ll see them:
Spending time together on or around Valentine’s Day without taking it too seriously.

Photo credit: Stemack Street, Flickr

TAGSannoying people on Valentine's DayArbitrary RankingsfeaturedListspeople you see on Valentine's DayValentine's DayValentine's Day 2013Valentine's Day couplesValentine's Day humor
Jason Epstein
About Jason Epstein... Jason Epstein is a nationally published freelance writer living in the greater NYC area. He's known for his close friends/good conversations/playing bass/wind in the face/rocking out/reading up/holding it down/good times/turning on dimes/and sometimes trying to rhyme(s). He can be reached at his website and you can follow him on Twitter here.

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