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9 times people want quantity over quality

By / 08.26.13
Quantity over Quality Times

Pile of food image by Shutterstock

Deciding to choose quality over quantity is an important life decision when it comes to most things, but sometimes quantity is what the people want. Whether it’s electronics, booze or babes, sometimes quantity must be provided. What are some of the things you prefer in quantity over quality?

9 Food


Buffet image by Shutterstock

I have one word for you: buffet. You never hear people saying, “Oh this buffet isn’t very good.” No shit, it’s a buffet. But you definitely hear, “They ran out of crab wontons. They fucking ran out of crab wontons. So help me God if that guy doesn’t come back and dump more crab wontons in front of me right now I’m going to shit a fist.” And that’s understandable, because at a buffet you’re meant to shovel mass produced calories down your throat until you’re trapped both physically in your chair and mentally in the deepest parts of your psyche…until dessert.

8 Sex

sexy lady

Sexy lady image by Shutterstock

People are never as upset about the fact that they aren’t having good sex as they are when they’re having no sex. Men in particular will take a dead fish over a long, cold winter any day. Any. Day.

7 Money


Money image by Shutterstock

You and I both know that we would rather have lots of blood money or a windfall payout from a risky stock instead of boring, steady savings account or retirement fund. When it comes to the choice between winning a lot or earning some, people don’t want better quality money, they just want MORE.

6 Alcohol

empty beer cans

Empty beer cans image by Shutterstock

There will be more times in your life that you rue the lack of beer in the cooler rather than the lack of craft beer. Simple as that.

5 Homes


Mansion image by Shutterstock

Why do people who can afford it love to have enormous homes? Even if I became a multimillionaire I still wouldn’t want to have to jog a mile to get from my Babylonian hanging gardens all the way to my movie theater. Hashtag first world problem.

4 Sequels

movie ticket

Movie ticket image by Shutterstock

Everyone knows that sequels often fail to capture the spirit of the original. Sure there are exceptions, but for every Dark Knight Rises, there are three unwieldy, inflated, convoluted Pirates of the Caribbean movies. People say they want more quality movies, but if that were the case then sequels wouldn’t choke creativity from our theaters each summer.

3 Megapixels


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Megapixels have nothing to do with how nice a picture looks; they have to do with its size. I don’t care if your camera phone can take billboard-sized 20 mega-pixel shots, it’s still a camera phone and it lacks a bunch of other features that go into creating a quality shot. And as far as televisions go, lemme just blow your mind for a second: 1080p looks better on a 40” screen than it does on a 50” screen. Know your pixels.

2 Friends


Friends image by Shutterstock

What’s the point of having a huge group of friends that really just amount to “poker pals” or “drinking buddies?” Deep, meaningful relationships provide a lot more happiness than shallow ones, even if there are less of them.

1 Lady Parts


Woman in bra image by Shutterstock

As men, we are stricken with a disease called “tigbitty syndrome.” And there’s only one cure: a great personality. Maybe.

TAGSArbitrary Rankingsfeaturedfood buffetsGluttonygreedhow many friends should you haveListsmegapixelsmore beermore moneymore sexmovie sequelsmutliple homesselfishness
Jason Epstein
About Jason Epstein... Jason Epstein is a nationally published freelance writer living in the greater NYC area. He's known for his close friends/good conversations/playing bass/wind in the face/rocking out/reading up/holding it down/good times/turning on dimes/and sometimes trying to rhyme(s). He can be reached at his website and you can follow him on Twitter here.

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