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This week in e-cards

By / 04.27.12

Beer, Bacon and ice cream all day, every day. Probabl the best and worst part of being an individual adult living alone.

We’ve all seen these Someecards, whether it be on Facebook or in a chain email they’ve inevitably crossed our paths. Sometimes they’re funny, sometimes they’re so awful you want to reach into the internet and slap the comic’s creator, but the week is long and surely you can’t be expected to wade through them all yourself? So this is the first in a weekly round up of the best Someecards to cross our paths.

I bet the Robert De Niro of Taxi Driver would shoot the Rober De Niro of Little Fockers

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@#$% this noise, I'm out

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I've been exaggerating stories since 1744.

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I'm sorry, I would offer you a drunk but all I have left is some get the fuck out

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because have sex with me.

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...annnnd you're still a little bitch.

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I wonder if the next planet we destroy will also get its own holiday.

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When women ask you for your opinion, they don't want to hear your opinion, they want to hear their opinion in a deeper voice

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My door is always open if you want to talk about how you can get the fuck out of my office.

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Sorry, but my dog thinks you're an asshole, and I believe him.

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Congratulations on not getting me pregnant

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I will always care about the environment, until it's no longer trendy

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Love is like a fart. If you have to fore it, it is probably shit.

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As a non-stoner on 4/20, I can't decide if I feel more like a non-sports fan on Superbowl Sunday or a Jew on Christmas

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Listen, I'm not calling her a slut. I'm just saying that if her vagina had a password it would be "password"

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Sorry your football team is more exciting to watch on draft day than game day.

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I'm a great cook if you cover my cooking in condiments to the point where you can only taste the condiments.

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"wow, that clean shaven guy looks super manly" said no one ever

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Sex noises in the background? Oh no, I'm just listening to Led Zeppelin

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3.5 billion women int he world and most of them are in Asia. The chances of you being my soulmate are slim

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Maybe if you ate some of that makeup you could be as pretty on the inside as you are on the outside

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Sometimes I grab my boobs. Because, well, I can.

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I'm glad I dont' work in a Catholic Church on Take Your Children to Work Day

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It's never too late to give up.

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It's cute that you think everyone is jealous of you. We actually just don't like you.

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Cass Anderson
About Cass Anderson... Cass is the social media editor and Director of Online Marketing for Guyism.com. You will find him at every Phish show that has ever existed, even ones before he was born.

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