Chrissy Teigen Is Looking Fuego and Topless On the Cover of GQ Mexico
The 41 most entertaining celebrity tweets this week

In case public masturbation is your hobby, you’re going to want to buy this tent

By / 06.27.14

public masturbation tent

I’m just going to get the “pitching a tent” joke out of the way.

Introducing the Portable Masturbatorium – a tent to hide the fact you’re pitching a tent in public. And hey, while the peen is covered up, why not get in a quick little tug during lunch at Sbarro’s.

Each portable pud pounding cover is made of linen, nylon, dowel, elastic, and measure 10” x 10” x 12” which should give you ample room to tug your third leg and tickle your taint and the other people at Starbucks will be none the wiser that you’re starting a public campfire with just your own wood.

One question though — why make the material see-through? And actually a follow-up question — WHO THE HELL NEEDS THIS?!?

If you do need this product your can either pay for it, barter for it, or offer a painting?

This whole idea is making my head hurt. I can barely concentrate on masturbating…at this Barnes and Noble.

[via Nicolaus Chaffin]


TAGSMasturbationportable masturbatorium
Chris Illuminati
About Chris Illuminati... Here is more than you'll ever really want to know about me -- These are the books I've written, these are the places I've done or will do stand-up, these are the articles I've written, this is the blog I do about my inadequacies as a father and this is how you can get in touch with me.

I want more like this!

Follow us on Facebook and get the latest before everyone else.

MORE STORIES FROM OUR FRIENDS:

Join The Discussion


Comments are closed.

Sign Up