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In case public masturbation is your hobby, you’re going to want to buy this tent

By 06.27.14

public masturbation tent

I’m just going to get the “pitching a tent” joke out of the way.

Introducing the Portable Masturbatorium – a tent to hide the fact you’re pitching a tent in public. And hey, while the peen is covered up, why not get in a quick little tug during lunch at Sbarro’s.

Each portable pud pounding cover is made of linen, nylon, dowel, elastic, and measure 10” x 10” x 12” which should give you ample room to tug your third leg and tickle your taint and the other people at Starbucks will be none the wiser that you’re starting a public campfire with just your own wood.

One question though — why make the material see-through? And actually a follow-up question — WHO THE HELL NEEDS THIS?!?

If you do need this product your can either pay for it, barter for it, or offer a painting?

This whole idea is making my head hurt. I can barely concentrate on masturbating…at this Barnes and Noble.

[via Nicolaus Chaffin]

Chris Illuminati
About Chris Illuminati... Here is more than you'll ever really want to know about me -- These are the books I've written, these are the places I've done or will do stand-up, these are the articles I've written, this is the blog I do about my inadequacies as a father and this is how you can get in touch with me.
TAGSMasturbationportable masturbatorium

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