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Guy forgets about homemade masturbation video, leads to most cringeworthy family moment ever

By 07.28.14

cringeworthy moment ever

This is the mother of all cringeworthy moments. This is perhaps the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to anyone at anytime, anywhere. In short, a guy filmed himself masturbating and doing all kinds of crazy, 50 Shades of Grey type stuff. He used an old family camcorder, one he threw in the basement upon completion. Ten years later someone dug it out at a family reunion.

That awkward moment when you thought you were going to see little Jenny’s basketball game and saw a butt plug…

Via reddit user c842:

About 10 years ago in my horny teen boy years (14-16) I used to go online to chatrooms or webcam sites to get off. I was also bi-curious and talked to other boys and probably men. I decided to record some videos of myself and send them to people online. My parents just got a new video camera and gave me their old one. It was one of those pre-digital, cassette tape kinds. So I took all these very raunchy videos of myself, jerking myself off, spreading my ass, cumming onto myself, putting things up my butt etc. It was after that I realized I had no idea how to upload the film onto my computer. So I just forgot about it. Years passed, I went to college, moved away, became a normal adult, etc.

This weekend I’ve been at my parents house for a family gathering including aunts/uncles/grandparents. Yesterday after dinner I was out in the yard playing soccer with my younger cousins while most of the adults were inside watching old family videos…… After a couple hours I go inside into the living room and see my uncle has rigged up that old cassette camcorder to the TV. Immediately my memory is flooded with my nasty antics, my heart hits 200 bpm. My mom must have dug it up when I moved out and saved it. I quickly look at the screen. It’s my sisters high school basketball game. I try to remember if I destroyed the tape. I must have. How could I not? The basketball game cuts to a family vacation to a lava flow field. My dad making goofy faces and me being a moody twat. I cringe at my too-cool-for-this behavior. Uncle presses fast-forward, blurs of black-gray rock formations fly past, then abruptly transitions into a fleshy mass of humiliation. It’s hard to make out what’s going on but I know instantly. My uncle presses play; I die inside. There I am, laid on my back, legs raised up against a table, pointing my underage dick at my face beating off and moaning. “Oh goodness” said grandma. “What the fuck” said everyone else. I put my hands up to my face and wished that an asteroid would hit right where I’m standing.

I don’t even know where to start here. Take the most humiliating thing that has ever happened to you. Multiply it by 100. Then, go into Times Square, strip down naked and have a million people point and laugh at your micropenis.

That’s on par right there.

Here is the aftermath of said humiliating incident.

My uncle shut it off and some people left the room. I apologized and said that was one of my weird experiments when I was a teenager, and kept saying, I’m so sorry. You could hear the cringing. Luckily most of my family are not uptight or conservative so I could tell they were trying to be polite about it. Everyone was kind of disgusted though. My dad was probably the hardest to look at. I tried to explain myself but I could tell nothing will wash away the horror. My grandfather was probably the most disgusted and said it was fucked up. My grandmother is still confused as to what she saw I think. I threw away the tape then left. I probably will not talk to anyone in my family for a couple weeks. Then it will be really awkward for a while, and after enough time passes I think I will be able to hang with with them again but it will be the elephant in the room for the rest of my life.

Well, that’s one way for grandma to learn about sodomy.


About A. Isaac... A. Isaac is the Senior Editor of He's a buffet connoisseur and regularly eats until he passes out. He also advocates pushing over children to catch foul balls.
TAGScringeworthy family momentcringeworthy moment

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