Cute girl's character reel deserves to get her hired somewhere
Finally...the new Paris Hilton music video (almost)

18 of the greatest George Costanza quotes to make you feel better

By / 09.26.13



Today we’re taking a look back at the most memorable George Costanza quotes, because as one of the most tortured souls in television history the verbal diarrhea to come out of George’s mouth was enough to keep us enthralled since the late 80′s. After the overwhelming positive response I saw on Jerry Seinfeld quotes it seemed only natural to round up the best quotes from his shenanigans partner George, so in no particular order here’s the very best George Costanza quotes from Seinfeld.



Popular quotes can serve both as a reminder of humility, a source of humor and a catalyst of inspiration. So if popular quotes is what you fancy then be sure to check out past editions of this post here.


just remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it.

YouTube/NBC


"I’M A GREAT QUITTER. IT’S ONE OF THE FEW THINGS I DO WELL. I COME FROM A LONG LINE OF QUITTERS. MY FATHER WAS A QUITTER, MY GRANDFATHER WAS A QUITTER… I WAS RAISED TO GIVE UP."

YouTube/NBC


"Parking in the city is just like sex. Why should I pay for it when, if I apply myself, I might be able to get it for free?"

YouTube/FOX


"Instead of doing a wash, I just keep buying underwear. My goal is to have over 360 pair. That way I only have to do wash once a year."

YouTube/NBC


"I can't carry a pen, I'm afraid it'll puncture my scrotum."

YouTube/NBC


"I don't trust men in capes."

YouTube/NBC


"I'm much more comfortable criticizing people behind their backs."

YouTube/NBC


"I would drape myself in velvet if it was socially acceptable."

YouTube/NBC


"I want to be the one person who doesn't die with dignity."

YouTube/NBC


"From the first time I laid eyes on a brassiere, I was enthralled."

YouTube/NBC


"When you look annoyed all the time, people think that you're busy."

YouTube/NBC


"For me to ask a woman out, I've got to get into a mental state like the karate guys before they break the bricks."

YouTube/NBC


"If you can't say something bad about a relationship you shouldn't say anything at all."

YouTube/NBC


"Hey, believe me, baldness will catch on. When the aliens come, who do you think they're gonna relate to? Who do you think's gonna be the first ones getting a tour of the ship?"

YouTube/NBC


"A George divided against itself, cannot stand"

YouTube/NBC


"Hi, I'm George. I'm unemployed and I'm a loser.

YouTube/NBC


Flickr/Alan Light

Flickr/Alan Light



Want more Seinfeld quotes? Check out this gallery HERE.


TAGSGeorge Costanza life lessonsGeorge Costanza quotesGeorge quotesinspirational quotesJason Alexander quotesNBC quotespopular quotesseinfeld quotestv quotes
Cass Anderson
About Cass Anderson... Cass is the social media editor and Director of Online Marketing for Guyism.com. You will find him at every Phish show that has ever existed, even ones before he was born.

I want more like this!

Follow us on Facebook and get the latest before everyone else.

MORE STORIES FROM OUR FRIENDS:

Join The Discussion


Comments are closed.

Sign Up