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Alleged attempted child abductor weighs 425 pounds, has worst mugshot ever

By 10.08.12

What happens when a human is merged with a blowfrog and several vats of pure, unfiltered lard then attempts to commit a crime? This mugshot of Santa Ana’a Victor Espinoza.

Santa Ana Police Department

According to police reports, Espinoza attempted to abduct a 10-year-old on his way to soccer practice.

Child abduction stories are not typically fun. But this blurb from KTLA’s article is priceless.

When the suspect saw the coach [while grabbing the 10-year-old], he attempted to flee and was tackled by the coach in the street.

You think you can smuggle a 10-year-old in your 425-pound face jowels? Not the worst idea if you’re into such terrible crimes. But did this Indiana Jones boulder of a man really think he could RUN AWAY from a soccer coach? My God. This guy’s biggest crime is a lack of self awareness. And being a pelican. Both of those are probably misdemeanors

Espinoza was charged with suspicion of false imprisonment, child annoyance, and for being a documented gang member.

(via Filmdrunk)

About Chris Spags... "Internet Heartthrob" Chris Spags is a former comic and the founding editor of In addition to overseeing all Guyism content and business development, he covers Humor for the site daily. He was recognized on the street once and it was awesome.
TAGSCrimeHuge chin mugshotNewsVictor Espinoza arrest mugshotWTF

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