Step 1: Add Pumpkin Seeds, Step 2: Plant In ‘Murican Soil, Step 3: 2,058-Pound King Of The Pumpkins

John Hawkley of Napa, California just set a North American record for ‘biggest pumpkin’ when he weighed in a whopping 2,058 pound pumpkin at this year’s Safeway World Championship Pumpkin Weigh-off.

The Safeway World Championship Pumpkin Weigh-off is an annual competition taking place in Half Moon Bay (south of San Fran, north of Santa Cruz) in which contestants who are pumpkin crazy enter their biggest pumpkins in a contest of pumpkinry, because there can only be one pumpkin to rule them all.

From ABCNews/AP:

A gourd weighing 2,058 pounds took first prize and set a new tournament record Monday at an annual pumpkin-weighing contest in Northern California.

John Hawkley, 56, won this year’s Safeway World Championship Pumpkin Weigh-off in Half Moon Bay south of San Francisco.

Hawkley “squashed” his competition, beating the runner-up by more than 300 pounds, Tim Beeman, a spokesman for the weigh-off said.

Hawkley — a production manager for a local newspaper — credited his success at least in part to warm weather. He ended up with a total of six pumpkins on a 4,500-square-foot patch of land in his front yard in California’s Napa Valley, which is famous for its wine grapes. One of the other pumpkins also weighed more than 2,000 pounds.

“My wife said this is as much pumpkin patch area as I’m going to get,” he said.

Hawkley said he will use the more-than $13,000 in prize money to make repairs on his home, which was damaged during a strong earthquake in the Napa area in August.

A TWO THOUSAND POUND PUMPKIN? ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?!?!? That’s easily larger than the fictional one was in Cinderella. The average car weighs 4,000lbs, so that’s half of a frickin’ car worth of pumpkin…and 600-pounds fatter than the heaviest human being in all of recorded history!

And on top of his North American record setting pumpkin also had a second pumpkin that weighed over 2,000 pounds, just astonishing.

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