These mutant Gambian pouched rats are your worst nightmare, they cannot be killed, and they’re taking over the Sunshine State.
Few things in life give me the heebie jeebies in the same way as rats. So when I first read the headline of ‘Giant Rats Won’t Die and Keep Invading Florida’ I couldn’t bring myself to click it. Well, curiosity got the best of me, and now I might never visit south Florida again…
As reported by KeysNet this week, the FOUR POUND MONSTER RATS that were thought to have been eradicated years ago are in fact immune to the undertaker’s caresses, and are once again swarming throughout south FL. Did I mention that they grow up to FOUR F*CKING POUNDS? AND 30 INCHES IN LENGTH?!?
The rats existence in Florida stemmed from some jackass Floridian who dealt in exotic pets, who sometime back between 1999-2001 thought it’d be a genius idea to let some of these mutant giants in to the wild for sh*ts and giggles. Then of course the rats did what rats do: make freakish gigantic baby rats who then make more rats until we’re all bowing down to the Rat King.
In terms of danger to humans, these 4lb beasts aren’t actually much of a threat at all. The real threat lays in these buggers trying to mess up all our lovely Floridian flora and fauna, which we just can’t have happening. In fact, aside from the remote chance you might contract monkeypox from one of them, they can actually be pretty damn useful. Yes, these mutant rats can be useful.
What you see above is the bastions of Satan being trained to SNIFF OUT MINES AND BOMB FIELDS in Africa. Just wrap your mind around that for a second. These rats are so damn massive & evolved that they’ve developed the ability to be trained to sniff out mines throughout Africa. More on that can be read here.
For now, I’m just gonna have to double down on my nightly prayers to the almighty Citrus Lord that he keep these abominations contained down in the swamps of S.FL.
Side note: Have you ever in your entire life seen a photo that screams ‘FLORIDA’ more than the one below from BuzzFeed?
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Source: NewTimes Blog // KeysNet