On Wednesday night Dos Equis threw their annual Dos Equis Masquerade party, at it I received what might be the weirdest lap dance of my life (pics below), and as it turns out they even launched a new ‘Most Interesting Man In The World’ commercial to commemorate it.
Well, maybe we’re getting in to a bit of ‘which came first, the chicken or the egg’ here, but one thing is for certain: I ended up getting a really weird lap dance from four women at a masquerade party and then they dropped the new ‘Most Interesting Man In The World’ commercial today (see below).
The night neither started nor ended normally, we entered the Norwood Club on Manhattan’s west side and were greeted by a magician talking some babble about ‘light and dark’ and the universe and whatnot. Then we took the elevator up to a room full of wild animals, really, they had owls and hawks and stuff. And some chick who looked like that emperor in ‘300’…the one with all the stuff hanging off his face, you know the one. She kept coming over and touching me to make me uncomfortable. I thought that would be the last time I interacted with her that night, as it turns out it wasn’t…
One of the things the magician in the beginning talked about was some charm, and how if you receive the charm you unlock the key to the universe, apparently what he meant was: in an hour some chick is going to hand you this, drag you in to a room full of 75 people, and you’ll be getting a lap dance from four women at the same time.
So later I received the charm, the chick from ‘300’ whisked me away. I tried to ask her questions but she was REALLY IN CHARACTER, referring to herself as ‘the queen’ and not answering questions. Then I’m dragged in to the packed room, stuffed in a chair, dressed in some sort of vine, and then they start dancing all over me.
As it turns out, it was all an elaborate ruse from my buddy over at Dos Equis (you know how you are) because I hadn’t seen him all Summer, and as I’d had my bachelor party two weeks ago in Myrtle Beach he wanted to do something nice for us having not hung out all Summer.
I know, I look like a complete fuckin’ tool with that smirk on my face. It was hard keeping a straight face when you have 4 chicks (two unseen in these photos) dancing on you in front of a room full of 75 people, all of whom you interact with professionally.
The other two unseen in the photos above can be seen in the photo below:
Oh wait, I forgot to mention that this all wasn’t an elaborate ruse to make me squirm in front of a packed house. Dos Equis is actually trying to hook you up with a trip to their annual masquerade party down in NOLA.
Details on how to enter from DosEquis:
Halloween is the time of year where masks are worn and people enter new worlds of discovery – and Dos Equis® is here to heighten those senses even further by helping fans explore their more interesting side. Today, Dos Equis launches the brand’s 2014 Masquerade program with incredible parties, virtual reality experiences, a national contest and limited-edition bottles. The Dos Equis Masquerade is part of an ongoing commitment to help fans 21 and older “Stay Thirsty” during the Halloween season by unmasking their alter ego.
Dos Equis is also giving six fans 21 and older a chance to win an all-expense paid trip for two to New Orleans to meet The Most Interesting Man and celebrate with legendary artist Q-Tip on November 22, 2014. Through October 31, fans can enter the contest by posting Masquerade and Halloween photos to Instagram using #XXMasquerade or by uploading them to XXMasquerade.com. Fans can also enter by purchasing Dos Equis and texting/emailing a photo of their receipt to XX@DESWEEP.com. Every photo posted, uploaded or texted/emailed represents another chance to win.
Dos Equis will also rollout two limited-edition label designs for its Lager and Ambar brews. Each pack and bottle will feature new branding, that too, is donning its own mask. The brand will also sponsor several Halloween-themed events nationwide, including Music Midtown, Life is Beautiful, Pacific Beachfest, ALONE, Monster Bash and HARD Day of the Dead.
For the most up to date information on the 2014 Dos Equis Masquerade or Dos Equis overall, visit www.DosEquis.com/Masquerade or Facebook.com/DosEquis.
So there you have it. The weirdest lap dance of my life. I’ve experienced some pretty dingy ones, and obviously things have gotten dirtier, but not as weird as four women at once, one representing the dark of the world, the other a forest nymph representing all the light of the universe. I’ve heard there’s video of it all, and if/when I get that footage I’ll be updating this post with it.
For more weird tales from my life you can follow me on Twitter HERE, and if you have any tips for me or the site you can tweet them at me there!