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9-month-old baby booked for attempted murder

By / 04.04.14
Angry Baby via Shutterstock

Angry Baby via Shutterstock


A 9-month-old kid stood before a judge in Pakistan yesterday. The charge — attempted murder. His plea — well, he can’t talk, so let’s assume his baby talk said “not guilty.”

The accused toddler was granted an interim bail (he had money saved) after he appeared in court with his grandfather. The infant started crying in court when his grandfather held his thumb to dip it in ink and put the thumbprint on the bail bonds. The kid isn’t old enough to do it himself but he’s old enough to try and kill someone.

According to the FIR, the baby, along with his uncles and grandfather, attacked the police officers, bailiff team and some Sui gas employees with wooden rods and pelted them with stones. While the infant was being formally charged during Thursday’s hearing, he was busy suckling on his pacifier.

A police team along with a bailiff and some Sui gas employees raided Muhalla Thanedaran to sever gas connections of houses that had not paid their dues, the FIR reads.

Maybe the cops were standing in front of the TV during a really important episode of Tickety Toc.

9-month-old booked for attempted murder

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Chris Illuminati
About Chris Illuminati... Here is more than you'll ever really want to know about me -- These are the books I've written, these are the places I've done or will do stand-up, these are the articles I've written, this is the blog I do about my inadequacies as a father and this is how you can get in touch with me.

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