To quote a man that was once a king of comedy, "I'd eat the corn out of Kate Upton's sh*t...and I don't even like corn." Every video I see of her evokes that emotion. Perhaps if I actually ate her sh*t kernels I'd feel differently, but until then, I only know what my heart is telling me. And that's -- I'd eat her fecal corn for one night of raucous lust making.