Last night my beloved Philadelphia Phillies hit a very nice, round number: 90 wins, baby. This morning, however, the New York Post had a funny little gossip item about the Phillies' John Mayberry Jr. And I've already interjected my bid to get him in this week's Bro of the Week, since he's pretty much The Man. As the story goes, the center fielder's reps at CAA's baseball division have been aggressively trying to hook him up with Antoinette Nikprelaj, the Albanian actress who played the mermaid in "the Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides." The correspondence is hilarious, like something out of a non-suckass "Entourage" script (it's been awhile):

The LA-based agent wrote in the e-mail on Aug. 30: "I imagine you're familiar with CAA and some of our clients, as we work with Ryan Howard,  Roy Halladay, Buster Posey, and Andre Ethier, among others.

 

"I hate to even be sending you this e-mail, and I'm quite embarrassed to say the least, but we have a young client on the Philadelphia Phillies who asked us if we knew any agents at Innovative Artists and could connect him to Antoinette Nikprelaj.

 

"I know you're not a dating or set-up service, but John Mayberry Jr. (Phillies OF) would love to meet Antoinette or invite her to a baseball game sometime. Would this be possible? Here’s a bio of John to give you some more info on him (he’s a great guy, down-to-earth, humble, Stanford-educated, etc.) Thanks for considering this as you know how this business is and servicing clients.”

 

Unfortunately for #15, she's already hitched. But, on the bright side, here's the best pics we could scour of the mermaid of Mayberry's desire.