I was at Seaside Heights, NJ with a number of friends and even more beers. We’re
celebrating the end of finals and entering the last year of undergraduate life.
Cool. So there are two couples in the house with our group, so as always, after
an hour of solid drinking, they disappear to their bedrooms. This one girl, Steph
and myself were in the kitchen just hanging until I tell her that I haven’t
eaten all day.
Steph: “Eat some of the cookies I brought, they’re Hebrew!”
Me: “No thanks, it’s not Easter”
Steph: “You want me to make you a sandwich? I make great
sandwiches!”
Me: “Of course I would love one! Jews make the best
sandwiches! Plus you’re a women. GO!”
So Steph is making me a sandwich and one of the couples
enter the kitchen, Hulk and Jen.
Me: “Look, she’s making me a sandwich! Fucking wifey material.”
Hulk: “YEAH STEPH MAKE HIM THAT SANDWICH REAL GOOD”
Steph: “Do you want turkey or roast beef?”
Me: “I don’t care, anything is good, I’m drunk and starving”
Jen:
“Do you want a blowjob with it?”
Me: “……that’s on the menu too?”
Jen: “STEPH YOU’RE SUCKING HIS DICK LET’S GO”
So Jen throws my ass in their bedroom and Steph
follows.
Me: “So..what about my sandwich?”
Jen: “YOU CAN HAVE ONE HALF. YOU HAVE TO EARN THE OTHER”
Blowjob for half a delicious turkey and roast beef sandwich?
Fair trade. So rumor has it that Steph gives the best fucking blowjobs so I’m
here to play snopes and prove the legend. Steph goes down on me and good lord,
it is actually an insanely awesome blowjob. Top notch. It’s like driving a
Porsche for the first time after owning a Toyota Tercell your entire life. She’s
sucking my balls, I’m holding my Jewish sandwich. She’s like the Pablo fucking
Picasso of oral intercourse.
Steph: “Did you even try your sandwich yet?”
Me: “Um…but your blowjob is SO GOOD”
Steph: “What do you like? I noticed you like it when I suck
your balls”
Me: “It’s all fucking awesome, just give me the best blowjob
you can give”
Steph: “You know how it can be the best blowjob?”
Me: “How?”
Steph:
“Shut up and eat your sandwich”
She pushes me on my back, sucks on my dick, and I start
eating my sandwich. I thought cigarettes and a turkey with mayo sandwich was a
banging combination. Or a beer and a burger. A fucking blowjob and a sandwich
made by a Jewish girl just took the top spot. At one point she deep throats and
licks my balls. It felt so good that I shoved the rest of the sandwich in my
mouth to use as a muzzle. It was that. Fucking. Good. Looks like she got her mayo
with her roast beef sub. Fuck, I might go to hell because it wasn’t Kosher.
“