Girls
by Mr. T on May 19, 2013

Jenny Wright

Wright starts our list this week because you never would’ve known her name had she not done something good. And when I say good, I mean really bad. During her time as the former head of judicial services at Tennessee, Wright engaged in multiple relationships with students, including a few student athletes. She probably felt she was only doing her duty as an alumnus with three degrees from Tennessee. It should be no surprise her marriage didn’t work out. I wouldn’t want my wife sleeping around either. I’m sure the husband got some good use of that big-looking mouth of hers before he cut bait. Life ain’t so “Wright” on Rocky Top these days.

Olivia Sprauer

Wright was the only one on the chopping block for conduct inappropriate for someone in a power position at an institution of learning. James didn’t make enough money teaching, so she decided to model some swimwear and got caught by the school. It probably wasn’t the wisest idea, but it seems like she’s parlaying the publicity from the firing and quality of her modeling work into some big money contracts. Playboy hasn’t come calling yet, though she’d accept in a heartbeat, but some lingerie companies and even Hustler has come chasing after her. With chest cannons like that, I can’t imagine why.

Emma Watson

It was a big week on the internet for Emma Watson, whose cult following is a pretty loyal one. First she showed well in her photo shoot for W Magazine. Then she may or may not have shown some nip in a white dress at a French airport. Finally she showed off her fine little ass in a tight dress at the Cannes Film Festival. As long as she keeps her hair long, I might be jumping on the bandwagon for her cult following soon.

Heather Graham

Can you believe it’s been 16 years since we saw Graham as Roller Girl in “Boogey Nights?” Not that we could ever take her acting career that seriously after that moment, but she’s been able to grab one role after the other since then. She’s starring in “The Hangover Part III, which comes out next weekend” and she hasn’t aged too poorly in 16 years. She’s definitely looking pretty damn good in the pages of “Maxim.” If my wife looked like this at 43, I wouldn’t have to think twice about keeping her around instead of trading her in for a younger model.

Angelina Jolie

Jolie made a brave decision this week when she decided she was going to get a double mastectomy because she carried the breast cancer gene. While we’ll miss her tremendous rack, we commend her for decision. It was the right thing to do given the risks. She still has her lips and for that we’ll always be grateful, but her breasts will be missed. R.I.P.