5. Rashida Jones
I’m sure some of you folks were looking for those bikini pictures of Schwarzenegger Maid Mildred Baena, but we don’t believe in bestiality here at BroBible. Instead we support chicks who engage in lesbo make-out scenes. Jones tongues down with Zooey Deschanel in “Our Idiot Brother,” which hits theaters this summer. Usually I don’t do girls with bangs, but I’ll give her a break given the lesbo tendencies.
4. Michelle Rodriguez
The Cannes film festival has been going on in the south of France this week, which means plenty of celebrities are getting drunk or lying on yachts in bikinis. Rodriguez has been involved in both practices and looking like a hot mess in the process. She showed her typical raging alcoholic tendencies early in the week and later found a bikini that wouldn’t properly cover that wonderfully fat ass of hers. She’s just upset she wasn’t involved in the fifth “Fast & Furious” movie.
3. Blake Lively
Another week, another girl makes her way into Leo DiCaprio’s life. As we touched on earlier this week, DiCaprio is now reaching Derek Jeter levels with his historic conquests. Blake Lively stepped up to the dish this week in Cannes although one can only guess how long DiCaprio will let her tag along. She doesn’t match up to the looks of Bar or Gisele, so her time will likely be short lived. [Editor's Note: I'm challenging this previous sentence.] Still, none of us would kick her outta bed, that’s for sure.
2. Elisabetta Canalis
Despite not having any professional reasons for being in Cannes, Canalis probably tagged along with boyfriend George Clooney for the festivities. Still it’s Canalis, not Clooney, who’s getting all the attention because she has a lot of bathing suits she wants to show everyone. She garnered everyone’s attention on three different occasions this week. A Bro like Clooney definitely knows what he’s doing.
1. Minka Kelly
Back stateside, TV networks made it through their upfronts to announce what shows will be on the air next year. ABC has decided to liven up the “Charlie’s Angels” brand with some fresh faces, including the current president of the previously mentioned Derek Jeter fan club. It makes sense that Kelly will be Charlie’s leading angel given her popularity is through the roof as shown by the voting for Spike TV’s 2011 awards. Yankee fans only wish she had the arm to join their starting rotation.