There were a lot of options to choose from for this week’s Hottie Index, so we really had to buckle down. We invited every candidate over to the BroBible offices and interviewed them for 30 minutes while demanding they offer their bodies to us in order to make the cut. (Or we just started at their pictures on a computer while breaking out the lotion…) Either way, we were able to make the tough decisions necessary. We’d still like to give an honorable mention to Kate Upton on her flip cup performance (if you actually believe she’s never played before) and Joanna Kruppa for showing off many a bikini and forgetting to wear a bra in Miami.
Obviously you want to hear that fantasy football stud Jordan Cameron’s little sister is pregnant. That’s newsbreaking since her brother is dominating the tight end position for his owners right now. Ok, so that’s not newsworthy enough for you. What if I told you this is the same girl who once dated Matt Leinart (although he’s now irrelevant) and her new baby daddy is Blake Griffin? That has your attention, doesn’t it?
During this past summer, it looked like Cuoco was well on her way to producing babies of steel. She was so far up Henry Cavill’s ass that that the two were practically attached. That ended very quickly and she’s been throwing around her new boyfriend, tennis player Ryan Sweeting, seemingly to get back at Cavill. (I’m not surprised if you haven’t heard of Sweeting. His career record is 35-57 and he’s never gotten past the second round of a Grand Slam tournament. I guess Cuoco is going more for looks than success in trying to make Cavill jealous.) Now Sweeting and her are engaged, which makes you wonder why celebrities get engaged so much more quickly than regular people. At least it seems that way to me. None of my friends are crazy enough to get engaged after dating a girl for three months.
We all remember “Mean Girls” because it’s the movie Lindsay Lohan looked hot even she wasn’t legal when she filmed it. You maybe remember her crazy goth friend from the movie, but you’ll be surprised to hear that same friend is Kaplan. Ole Lizzy is now appearing in Showtime’s “Masters of Sex.” Anything with sex in the title has to be interesting, but what’s more interesting is how Kaplan looked in this month’s GQ. While I’m always anti-bangs, you have to give her credit for her sexiness. We never knew she had this in her.
Melissa Joan Hart
Sex, drugs, and rock & roll were probably not four words you expected to hear when describing Melissa Joan Hart’s lifestyle. She’s always come off as a bit of a goody-goody. The goody-goody in her is probably why she’s now unveiling all her past secrets in a new book. That and her career went in the tank, so she needs to make some money. Re-runs of “Clarissa Explains It All” and “Sabrina the Teenage Witch” can only take you so far. She is attractive though, so you can’t knock Nick Carter, Jerry O’Connell, and Ryan Reynolds from hooking up with her back in the day. Not that it should be a surprise that O’Connell and Reynolds are on that list because those two guys hook up with everyone.
The Emmys are definitely becoming more of a thing than they were some years ago. Maybe it’s the cult following that shows like “Mad Men,” “Breaking Bad,” and “Modern Family” have, but people actually watch the Emmys these days. While people were watching this year’s edition this past Sunday, they caught funny girl Fey’s nipple popping out of her dress. Maybe someone pulled a joke on her for a change and designed her an inferior dress.