Holy Shit Taylor Swift Is Worth A Lot Of Money

Look, we all know Taylor Swift is filthy fucking rich. Her Red tour grossed approximately 299 trillion dollars, and she owns mansions in New York City and the Seychelles and her own dang Interstelllar-style space ship to take her through wormholes to a rooftop penthouse on a exoplanet orbiting Alpha Arietis 66 light years from here, where she receives injections of alien DNA which allow her to not only stay so fucking skinny but also help her brain secrete actual brainwaves and control other people’s thoughts, which is how she has remained so thoroughly damn embedded in all of America’s collective conscious, seriously she has to be some sort of MegaMind who doesn’t even like music but just uses it as a way to manipulate and control the world for her own sick and devious pleasure.

But how much money is she actually worth?

Well, Vulture broke it down. The answer is a literal fuck wad’s worth.

For starters, Swift has nearly $100 million in real estate (although their breakdown includes her $40 million private jet, which is more personal property than real estate, but semantics).

In music earnings, Taylor made 40 fucking million dollars last year alone.

So, including those numbers with her multitude of endorsements, Vulture figures she’s wealthy as FUCK. But check out how much money she pays the GUBMINT first.

Forbes estimates she’s earned $252 million since June 1 of 2008, while our modest figures see her earning $239 million in income with another $86 million in real estate and plane assets. Being in the current 39.6 percent tax bracket, she’s probably paid $94.6 million to the IRS over the years.

DAMN. Damn. No wonder rich people are Republicans.

Anyhoo, they think Swift right now is worth 200 million, which seems kinda low, actually. How is she not a billionaire yet?

Read the whole post here.