Tampa-area strip clubs were all excited about a boom from the Republican National Convention. They thought a bunch of horny right-wingers would be on such a Mitt Romney high that they’d flock to the boobie bars in droves, lining the coffers of the leopard-print glitterati.
A funny thing happened on the way to the Champagne Room, though. The Republicans never showed.
Instead, three days into the RNC, Tampa’s dancing beauties were still waiting for their stimulus packages.
“My friend told me I’d make $3,000 a night this week,” said a slinky brunette named Jordan, as she gazed dejectedly around an empty Mons Venus bar on Monday, the Isaac washout day in Tampa. “I've made $100 tonight and it's already 3 a.m.”
“I don't even know what I'm still doing here," she added. "This sucks."
Still, there are a few stories of sexy success. All is not lost.
Monica Fox, a stripper at Mons Venus, said a pair of GOP bigwigs stopped by Monday afternoon — and one of them treated her like royalty.
"He had money, and he had no problem spending it," Fox said.
But she was one of the very lucky ones. At 4 a.m. Wednesday, a heavily tattooed stripper named Anna surveyed the scene at 2001 Odyssey — where a gaggle of girls were jostling for the attention of three guys in suits — and offered her take on why business was so bad.
“To be honest, I think a lot of them just hired escorts,” she said. “That's more their style.”
Trickle-down economics? More like trickle frown.
Sad strippers are the saddest.