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Talk is Cheap in This Week’s Hottie Index

By / 04.30.14

chrissy-teigen

Let’s jump right into which five girls did it for us this week.

Rihanna

We’re not one to bury the lede, so we have to start this week’s Index with Rihanna. She was ALL OVER THE INTERNET this week because she likes to have those kind of weeks. First she was posting nudies on Instagram until they cried foul and then she went to Twitter. Then she posed some barely clothed pics of herself on Instagram from Vogue Brazil because she could. And then she showed up at a Nets’ game without a bra because she’s got some ripe perky tits and no one is gonna make Rihanna wear a bra if she doesn’t want to. Can’t wait to see which man feeds this beast for marriage. Should be a fun one.

Amal Alamuddin

amal-alamuddin

Speaking of marriage, I never thought George Clooney would bite the bullet. Think about the women he dated since his first marriage: porn star Ginger Lynn Allen, Renee Zellweger, model Lisa Snowdon, Krista Allen, reality personality Sarah Larson, Elisabetta Canalis, and Stacy Kiebler. Most men would die for one name on that list, let alone the whole list. He said in 2007 he would never marry again. He obviously was full of shit, but it was a nice way for him to bang his way through the world while having a ready-made excuse to not be fully committed. I’m not sure what Alamuddin did to get him to change his mind, but my guess is she gives one fantastic blow job.

Chrissy Teigen

chrissy-teigen

Teigen isn’t a shy girl. She gets naked all the time, mostly because it’s her job. Therefore it should be no surprise that she revealed to Cosmopolitan that she joined the Mile-High Club with Jon Legend and they didn’t even use the bathroom. I know she’s a model and is used to the attention, but how can anyone sit near her and Legend in first class again without staring them down the entire flight basically daring them to have sex in their seat again. Love you Chrissy. You’re the best.

Rose Byrne

rose-byrne

I think this new movie called “Neighbors” that comes out next week will be pretty decent even if it stars Zac Efron. The premise itself seems like it has legs. Byrne has some legs too as we saw in the recent Australia version of Elle. She seems to really have found her place in these buddy comedy films after starring in “The Internship” before this. I’m just shocked to see she’s dating Gyp Rosetti. Yes, that fucking Gyp Rosetti from “Boardwalk Empire.” I wonder if she puts the dog collar around his neck too.

McKayla Maroney

Are you surprised? Maroney is always a factor in this space because she lights up Instagram like Lamarcus Aldridge lights up the Houston Rockets. She was at it again this week and you can just enjoy it from here.


TAGShottie indexMcKayla MaroneyRihannathe hottie index
Mr. T
About Mr. T... Mr. T came out of the womb with a TV remote in one hand and a piece of paper with a bookie’s number in the other. Anointed a child prodigy after winning a March Madness pool at the age of nine, Mr. T serves as BroBible’s resident handicapper. He's never seen a road trip he didn't like and spends way too much time researching female celebrities.

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