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Basketball is Over, So Let’s Take Solace in This Week’s Hotties

By / 04.08.14

cameron-diaz

Some of you know that I write about sports and travel when I’m not writing about about chicks. (If you didn’t, well then you should read more of my stuff because it’s amazing.) That’s why it pains me that today marks the first day after the NCAA Tournament. I love the NCAA Tournament more than anything and now it’s gone. To make myself feel better, I’m overcompensating by spending hours on the internet looking at girls for the Hottie Index. So that’s why Nina Agdal’s naked cell phone pictures don’t make the cut. (Models are always naked.) Neither do Lea Michele’s nipples, which just happened to be on display at the Kids’ Choice Awards. (Not cool, mom.) A steamy Bar Rafaeli commercial isn’t good enough either. (If it’s not good enough for Israel, it’s not good enough for us.) And it’s great that Amanda Bynes is hot again, but I can’t get those crazy old pictures out of my memory. Tough cuts needed to be made this week, but these upcoming five were good enough.

Natalie Dormer

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We all watched the Game of Thrones premiere on Sunday night and it did not disappoint. We’ve still got some great things ahead for this season and Dormer’s a huge part of the process. We love Dormer because she’s not afraid to show everything she’s got, although she was barely covered in the recent feature for GQ. More than anything else, she left our Brandon Wenerd speechless in a NYC hotel elevator and we all know that’s a tough thing to accomplish.

Demi Lovato

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Ever too scared to send a dick pick to a female interest? Just remember to keep your head out of the photo. Demi Lovato was smart enough to do that when she texted a picture of her boobs, but she was too stupid to realize her tattoos would give it away. Oops. Maybe she’ll think twice next time. I guess we need to give her heart a break.

Cameron Diaz

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When Jason Siegel was 14, he watched a smoking-hot Diaz in The Mask and probably dreamed about banging her one day. Fast forward 20 years and he’s making a sex tape with her. Ok, so it’s a movie called Sex Tape and not the real thing, but at least a part of a young boy’s dream came true. He probably had to push aside his chubby when Diaz walked into the set with a skimpy white t-shirt and her nipples poking through. It’s good to know a young boy’s dream can come true. Keep dreaming!

Paulina Gretzky

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A buddy of mine emailed me this past week and told me I NEEDED to make sure Gretzky was included in the Index after posing for the cover of May’s Golf Digest. I had three responses for my friend. 1. I was already on top of it. 2. He needed to check out her Instagram account. Finally, 3. He better get finished checking out that Instagram account before his wife caught him with his pants down. Now if only Gretzky could swing a club as well as she holds one in a sports bar.

Miranda Kerr

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Kerr is totally hot, but she’s even hotter when she poses for British GQ. That means she can bare more than she would in American GQ. But baring skin isn’t enough for a model to make it, as we mentioned above. Being open to banging other women? Yep. That’ll do it. Good to see Kerr’s on that bandwagon.


TAGShottiesMiranda KerrNatalie Dormerthe hottie index
Mr. T
About Mr. T... Mr. T came out of the womb with a TV remote in one hand and a piece of paper with a bookie’s number in the other. Anointed a child prodigy after winning a March Madness pool at the age of nine, Mr. T serves as BroBible’s resident handicapper. He's never seen a road trip he didn't like and spends way too much time researching female celebrities.

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