Somehow Not Every Girl is Naked in This Week’s Hottie Index

Lake Bell

We’ve already seen Lake Bell topless. “How to Make It in America” only lasted for two seasons, but it was successful enough to at least provide us with that. It’s hard to argue that there’s a better pair of real knockers out there than Bell’s. Now they’re back on the cover of New York Magazine. She’s got some body paint on, which obscures things slightly, but it allows you to remember what she’s working with. Frankly I have no idea what’s actually in the magazine itself, but I don’t care. It just reminds you that Bell’s body is bumpin’ and can always be found via Google search.

Myla Sinanaj

I don’t have much interest in seeing Kris Humprhies’ dong and I’m sure you’re in the same boat. But if it’s the price of seeing some not so classy shots of Sinanaj as part of the sex tape she filmed with him, then I guess I’ll make the sacrifice. She’s got quite the curvy set of assets. I’m sure that will go over quite well with Humphries’ new set of fans in Boston and go over really well with all the opposing teams’ fans in the cities the Celtics visit.

Milyn Jensen

The quickest way to a girl’s heart is by giving her a large fries from Mickey Ds. That worked on Jensen when Justin Bieber met her back in December at a club. He wined and diner her while he enjoying two double cheeseburgers. (I don’t give Bieber much credit, but at least he’s got the food order at McDonald’s right.) He wanted to keep it classy when he cheated on Selena Gomez. Jensen’s now involved in “Bad Girls Club: Miami,” so she’s obviously using up all of her fifteen minutes of fame. She better lay off those large fries or the fifteen minutes will go very fast.

Laura Prepon

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I loved Prepon when she had the red hair. Now she looks a little more fake with the blond hair, but thankfully she’s redeemed herself with topless lesbian shower scenes. Now they appear to all be coming to an end as word broke she’s leaving “Orange is the New Black” at some point next season. Given what she’s done since “That 70’s Show,” I’m not sure what else there is for her out there, but I’ll be on board if she’s taking up more nude lesbian parts.

Kelly Hall

Matthew Stafford might not have an offensive line in front of him in Detroit, but he does have a smoking hot girlfriend to rub him up and down. That’s not the only thing Hall can do. She showed off her moves in a recent dance competition. If she can dance like that, she must be able to move those hips in the bedroom as well. You might not have noticed that if you didn’t focus on her hips as first. That tit shake she did might’ve put you in a state of trance not allowing you to focus on anything else.