Most people make resolutions upon turning to a new calendar year, so I might as well make one as well. In 2013, I’m going to look at more broads. Whether it’s at home on my computer or at the bar, I’ll be observing and evaluating the shit outta women. I may actually talk to a few of them too. There’s no point in being a misogynist. You might as well take it in the complete opposite direction. Five days into 2013 and tens of hours eyeing up members of the opposite sex, here are five worthy of this week’s Index.
There are two things about Vergara that are easy to see. The first is that she’s the highest paid actress on television, pulling in $19 million a year thanks to “Modern Family” and all her endorsement deals. The second is that she’s got really big cans. Visitors to South Beach this weekend saw all Vergara had to offer when she was strutting around in a bikini, but that wasn’t the whole place you could see what she was bringing. If you happened to be a Story nightclub in Miami on New Year’s Eve, there’s a chance you caught an eyeful of Vergara when she came out of her top during a fight with her fiancé. That’s one hell of a way for her fans to ring in the New Year.
Andrews is not only loved by all sports fans for her sideline reporting for Fox, but she is loved by athletes as well. Hockey isn’t covered by Fox anymore, but Andrews has decided to do some exploratory reporting by dating Jarett Stoll of the Los Angeles Kings. Stoll has a history of pulling some fine celebrity tang including the likes of Rachel Hunter, Paulina Gretzky, and Katie Cassidy. He’s like hockey’s version of Leonardo DiCaprio. We’ll see how long Andrews lasts with him.
Somehow they’ve made another Texas Chainsaw movie. It’s not exactly like Batman or Twilight, where it brings in tons of money. The last one only pulled in $40 million. Maybe 3D will help it bring in more cash or maybe Daddario will. The native New Yorker can make any horror movie a little less terrifying to watch. Except if you look too closely into her eyes. Those are admittedly a little scary.
Genesis Rodriguez (Pictured above)
Every once in a while a relatively unknown chick’s photo-shoot takes over the internet to the extent that it’s posted on multiple sites. This week we’re all being introduced to Rodriguez. You may actually recognize her before from her role on “Entourage” or Will Ferrell’s “Casa de Mi Padre.” You’ll certainly never forget her now after looking through her photos in GQ. No one’s been this excited about something called Genesis since a little blue hedgehog was running around.
If you think politics in our country is messed up, you should check out what goes on over in Europe. Only in Europe could a 76-year-old billionaire can be prime minister of his country three separate times, be charged with soliciting sex from a minor, and be at the center of alleged sex parties. Oh…and this guy, Silvio Berlusconi once dated Minetti, a 26-year-old whose part dental hygienist, part model, and part politician. Minetti, seemingly like everyone else, was in Miami this week while sporting a bikini. Despite her massive melons, the picture that caught my eye was actually of her lower half, when her meat flaps were basically coming out of her bottoms. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…