The Hottie Index is back after a one week vacation because, hell, everyone needs a vacation at some point in the year. We left some good things on the table last week, but thankfully there’s plenty of material to deal with this week as well. Sound off in the comments on who your favorite is this week because we think it’s a really tight race.

Sofia Vergara
We’ve always loved Vergara for her sexy accent and her curves. If it’s possible, her curves went too far at the Emmys (for her and not for us anyway). Her dress was so tight and her ass is so beautifully big that her dress tore at the seam. Like with every man in Sofia’s life, the dress realized that ass can’t be contained. The best part is that she embraced the moment and posted a photo of the incident on Twitter. That was very thoughtful of her.

Ali Landry
We all remember Ali Landry as the girl from the Doritos commercial during the Super Bowl. She disappeared for a while and one might wonder whether or not she still looks good less than a year away from turning 40. Guess what? She’s still a smoking hot piece. I wonder if ex-husbandMario Lopez wishes he’d never let that go. She’s been all over the internet this week and it’s nice to have a blast from the past

Miley Cyrus
I never would’ve expected Miley Cyrus to end up on an episode of “Two and a Half Men.” Those Disney days are well in her rearview mirror. I also would’ve never expected Miley to be sporting some hot cleavage, which is the case in the screen caps of the episode she appeared in. That trashy short haircut makes her look like a huge slut. She’s definitely 3 years away from a full blown sex tape.

Carrie Underwood
When you first learn to masturbate as a young child, you’re basically turned on by anything. The side boob of your mediocre babysitter or your friend’s 50-year-old mom bending over to takes dishes out of the dishwasher will cause you to sprout wood. Imagine how this 12-year-old must’ve felt when he asked Carrie Underwood for a kiss through a sign at one of her concerts and she actually brought him on stage to do so. I’m really surprised he didn’t have the most embarrassing moment of his life by blowing his load on stage, so good for him. That’s a bro in the making minus the whole going to a Carrie Underwood concert thing.
 

Cassie

Lathering a girl up with some type of body oil, throwing her in a bikini, and taking pictures of her is the perfect way to get our attention here at the Hottie Index. That’s exactly what GQ did to R&B singer Cassie in this month’s issue. If Puff Daddy is actually hitting that like the rumors say, I’m sure he makes her hang on those gymnastics rings and bangs the hell out of her.