Rihanna Says She Hasn’t Had Sex in ‘Ages’

Ri Ri, who is somehow only 25 by the way, revealed the news to England's Alan Carr on an episode of Chatty Man that will air tonight. 

“Recently I’ve become a square,” she said. “I hate partying. I don’t know if it’s my heels – I don’t like standing up in my heels for hours. I don’t know if it’s that, but I’ve been so bored of it. I don’t know if it’s because it’s the same music every night – maybe we need some more DJs.

“I am such a bootleg rock star, I do nothing, literally. I’m embarrassed to say that actually. That’s so disgusting. That’s fucking pathetic.”

Two things: 1. Rihanna recently live-tweeted a trip to a Thailand sex show. 2. Her “ages?” Maybe 45 minutes.