There are more times than I’d like to count in which I’ve observed (or Instagram stalked, realistically) a relationship and have been left utterly confused as to why such a seemingly nice, somewhat intelligent guy would put up, end up with and worst of all, enjoy being with a girl that may or may not be a descendant of Dante’s 7th level of hell.
We see it all the time. And we get entertainment watching these slow-motion train wreck relationships play out from the sideline, waiting for the final over-the-edge-tipper that was about as inevitable from day one as ending up passed out by 4 pm is the day of a darty.
So why do men love crazy bitches?
At their most basic core, bitches are entertaining. You’ll never really know what exactly it is that sets a bitch off, but your one guarantee is that once it does, you’re in for a real fucking show. The ride is never smooth and there’s always the underlying anxiety that a scene is due to be made at any given moment, but any guy knows that no matter what, dating a bitch will never, ever be boring.
This is because a true crazy bitch has no bounds. None, nada, zip. She will eat you up and spit you out on the lawn of your Fraternity house and give zero fucks about who sees. I’m not saying that you have to be some sick misogynist to end up with a bitch, but whether or not you realize it, there’s a sort of thrill in never knowing what’s coming next. Unpredictability means that there’s always something new in store; it’s always a gamble. You’d have to be a real rare piece of a work to be able to keep a guy’s undivided attention for all of time, and even then he’d probably still get bored of you at some point. When you’re with a bitch, you never know what you’re going to get that day.
Bitches also don’t care about your feelings or your interests or anything else other than your earning potential and how strong your flow game is. A bitch has other interests and passions, which come, and always will come, before you. She’s not sorry about it, nor should she be. A bitch always puts herself first so that you don’t have to.
You may call it selfish and off-putting, but in reality she’s independent and emotionally self-sufficient. You’re probably really great and all, but there’s not much you can do for her that a weekly blow out and vodka soda can’t do. Bitches are essentially emotionally unavailable; they do not have time for your beer tears nor do they give a flying fuck about them. Being with a bitch means there’s no sense of codependency or neediness. She does her, you do you and then later you can do each other.
Men are egotistically driven, bottom line. But that doesn’t mean they necessarily need someone kissing their ass every five seconds. It means that they need someone who is, at times, unconquerable and unavailable. In the rare fleeting times that they feel like they have control, it’s a challenge won and a stroke to their pride, whether it’s subconscious or not.
Because dating a bitch is just that: a challenge. A bitch will give you shit and make you better. She’ll tell you to sack up and get over yourself while simultaneously making note of how unflattering the color of your button-down is with your dead-of-winter now-translucent skin tone.
She’s harsh, she’s honest, she’s loud and she’s fucking nuts. But she’ll love you harder, faster and so, so much more passionately than anyone else you’ll ever be with.
Bitches do it better. It takes one to know one.
I want more like this!
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