Girls
by That's What She Said on November 29, 2010

Chicks know that Bros don’t really ever want to commit to us, but what finally gets you to do it is when the thought of some other guy getting in on the action makes your skin crawl. So, when you break-up with a chick, her immediate response is to remind you how many other dudes want a piece. The most obvious way to accomplish that is to jump right back in the sack. For example, she might show up at your next house party in her skimpiest outfit, and spend the whole night eye f*cking (and then eventually f*cking) that dude in your frat you never really liked. Or, at the bar, she’ll be draped all over that other guy she was always “just good friends” with and then let him take her home. It’s certainly immature, but we’re not perfect.

Should her ploys to get your attention work (we know what we’re doing), and you’re already regretting the break-up, there’s potential for phenomenal make-up or post-break-up sex. Picture how into it she was when you first started hooking up, and multiply it by 10, because now she knows she has to work for your attention. But play your cards right here, Bros, because now that you’ve dropped her once, she’ll certainly still be evaluating her other options. Oh, and “just a good friend” — he’ll definitely still be trying to make his move. 

This scenario shouldn’t be confused, however, with a chick that ends it, and then the next night is boning some random dude in the bar bathroom. She was definitely ready for it to be over and had probably checked out of the relationship a while ago. There’s not a lot to salvage there. Same goes with any chick who goes right for your friends. Just like our closest friends are off limits, so are yours. We know that, and if she targets them anyway, it’s not worth it.

All that being said, don’t be too hard on us. Guys are just as prone to hooking up with someone right away, and, in fact, most girls pretty much assume that will be a dude’s first move post-break-up. In our minds, you’ve been thinking about other chicks the entire time and now can let loose all that restraint you’ve been using while in the relationship. We know that blonde freshman girl has been eying you for months, and that petite edgy brunette is always flirting with you at work. So part of it is also us trying to beat you at your own game. We’re already hurt that we’re breaking up, and the last thing we want is to have the knife dug in even further by you being the first one to rebound.

Break-ups suck for everyone involved, there’s no doubt about that. The reality is that someone is eventually going to have to be the first one to hook up with someone else. So, even if she waits a week or three months, if you cared about her, it’s still going to hurt. But you know the best way of getting over her — go ask that blond freshman if she wants to see your pinny collection.